Got a cig? Got a stamp?

April 16, 2013

Rev. Gordon Peterson

Lutheran Social Services of Southern California

a.k.a. Lutheran Comnunity Care Centers

2560 Santiago Blvd.

Orange, CA  92867

Dear Reverend Gordon:

I see, thanks to Guidestar, your agency is no longer filing an IRS 990. If we are going to court, I’ll close your agency for good, without question. I find it, as my dad who was Howard Hughes’ son would say, very “interesting” that your filings stopped about the time I received an LSS “Sleepover” schedule from a former drug addict volunteering at 80 E. Hillcrest Drive in Thousand Oaks. You should all end up in federal prisons, but to avoid overcrowding that has already been addressed on the state level by many legal actions, why not simply give me a J-O-B?

Hughes as criminal? Mafia? Only in the drug-crazed, floridly delusional California mind. Just this morning, Alan Gleissner of the Alex Fiore Teen Center said, “Better clear out of here, because the class is starting again, and they’re scared of you.” Reverend, I’m not scared in a town where I have been illegally harassed by your rotten Deputies about seventy times. I’d taunt by saying, “See the cops for heroin, Park Ranger for meth, and Bob will direct your to the pot shop.” I was correct? Not funny, but despite the community’s sadistic mores, I have suffered quietly with years of near-starvation, dehydration, injuries, and terroristic attacks upon my person and mental heath while still maintaining good humor. No more.

I do not have ESP. I do not ride in UFO’s, however I saw one in the California desert. That said, I very recently predicted a major terror event, and now, the media that won’t cover me reported three dead and twenty-two injured in a Boston terror bombing. Want stories about the Kennedy clan secretly going on vacation with mine? Sorry, you’d have to pay more for that. Outraged? Do you mean to tell me LESLIE ORTH, DIANA ORTUNO, and now, JASON VALDERRAMA are unpaid church volunteers?”

Let’s trade allegations. I’m in need of psychiatric care? Not according to the behavioral health squad that responded to my call about a local hell-raiser who tried to kill me more than once, but I kind of like the guy. Deputy C. is about to murder my butt, and Mr. Valderrama and spouse from Thailand made their first appearance? Looks bad/smelly to me, and U.S.D.O.J., I hope. Life on the street? Not for me, and as your poorly trained cops say, “Would you like to go to jail today?” Better listen-up. Someone is going to be murdered at 80 E. Hillcrest over illegal drugs, if it has not happened already. The local sick joke is, “Have you seen Reverend Gordon lately?” [Meaning the good reverend has “disappeared”].

Mocked my Political Action Committee (PAC) lately? Why don’t you want me as president out here? One-third of Mexico would be mine/ours. I’d put troops in British Columbia, where they belong. Canada tossed me out, and a border security official said, “Mister Hughes, don’t go buying-up Canada.” Then, a mere year later, I’m reduced to rags in your screwed-up beyond repair murder capital? A real Civil War is brewing, Reverend. Not a movie script I finished at the Goebel Senior Adult Center. Do you believe I said, What happened to the loud tone on the Emergency Broadcast System?”, and they put it back? Grandpa Howard designed the airborne battle station for the president otherwise known as the “Doomsday Plane.” Did your meth/potheads here know that? The little wealthy, slutty asses seem to know way too much about me, and I don’t give a damn about you. No, I do not.

The “Clanker Box” launches a nuclear attack, and I ran one in college. Want to hear about this in your history slates? Me, yes me, saying to a General in a Omaha, Nebraska hole, “Give me the cards.” YOU ARE ALL DEAD AFTER THAT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DRIFTING TOWARD WW III, AND PRAYING WON’T GET YOUR DUMB ASS OUT OF IT? Sacramento? Bombed and leveled. Gee, I really like California, don’t I?

Want one of thousands of “inside jokes” your local morons did not appreciate. A man came in the Starbucks located at 30 N. Moorpark with a plastic holder for the cards I just mentioned. The color? PURPLE. Get the “Purple Five Dollar Bill” joke?” This writer is looking a lot like William V, Chief of State of the United Kingdom, and what did William IV do? He fired the Prime Minister. Look it up. I did. Did I really fire David Cameron behind the local senior center? That would be up to him, the House of Commons, and the House of Lords, not some drunk trying to beat me up like a violent low-I.Q. kid on a playground.

Reverend, I need money for a high-quality handgun to shoot someone’s ass, but first I’d like to be allowed to read some court cases on the Second Amendment and gun rights without the Ethernet, Wi-Fi, or A/C power going off in Ventura County. The subversive, “Since 1964,” crap you can feel in the air, taste, and sense like the static electricity before a Midwestern lightning strike. Bottom line? I’d rather not be here when terrorist-planted nukes goes off. How about you?

THAT’S THE LAST “DISAPPEARING TEXT,” REVEREND. IT NOW GOES TO FEDERAL AUTHORITIES. I’D GET A LAWYER, IF I WERE YOU.

Sincerely,

William Charles Hughes