10/12/2015

Hey Corky, what year is it?

Dear Mr. Beck –

Astounding news! My computer still works, and the Post’s Bill McClellan must think I’m not posting from 63111. I think Christina Aguilera could figure out what to do with the “other frequency” down there after I get some big bucks and put Ashley in charge of 105, and Ms. Elwell at the helm of the same old Kansas & Styx song, but not in the same shift at Fenton forklift factories.

Let’s have NBC SNL “deep thoughts” about how a jet plunged into the ocean, near where I’d later waste a lot of time, but the First Officer is now a robust 72 years young. How can that be? Did you see Christina’s dented Nissan Sentra at the Sherman Oaks Whole Foods? No, you did not, and I am sworn to not disclose the color of her vehicle. My joke was, and is, “Why is she coming when I’m going?” Why does the security guard there have a big gun? You cannot mess with the TV star in line with Hughes, but you can hack the Hughes HP and steal all of his screenplays.

How about an airplane video? Captain Juan is real. My computer expert actually wants to play Captain Ted Thompson! I’m still “Bill” as First Officer Bill Tansky? Keep it quiet, so it never happens. I’m thinking less than $200,000, depending on what the VC fireman says. Deputies? I already know they want to get paid for gawking at a jet that is not there. This business of knowing every deputy from Malibu to Westlake Village could turn out to be a positive.

Later,

Hughes

 

Still Alive?

NASA? "Need Another Seven Astronauts"

02.13.2017

Dear Mr. Campbell –

It all started on a street corner when a man came up to me, admired my big radio tower, and said, “You ought to put a motor on your bike.” That was 1966, and I did also wonder why the police would help launch model rockets where it was decidedly illegal, but they did. Flashing forward to 2013, a Lutheran agency official who point blank said, “You are related to Howard Hughes” is unfortunately now deceased. She also endorsed my dinner date not yet consummated with Andrea Mullin, who was at that time managing the senior center. I assume she is still alive and last resided in Ronald Reagan’s hometown of Simi Valley, CA. When I was advised of the additional fee at Reagan’s library to see an old Air Force One I said, “I’m not paying for that” and departed.

My car was later wrecked, every public & private computer was crashed, and all phones were stolen. This lends credibility to what the late Ms. Ortuno said. Following this disastrous time in California, I branched out my research to the many politicians and public officials with my name. However, given my dozens of pleasant conversations with Baker Hughes prior to the layoff frenzy down there, I simply wonder if you might want to write about me. My qualifications for the oil business are like the story on political credentials. I went to college with a pack of newly arrived Saudis, and an Iranian female gave me a hat. Isn’t that enough if Al Franken is a U.S. Senator? There is no story here when my science fair laser beam was denied in favor of an oil derrick that did not win anything under the sponsorship of our pathetic liberal newspaper?

Put bluntly, I need political help. The latest supposed “pie in the sky” is to barely remain a Democrat and simply seek a congressional seat here in Missouri. Like my movie deal on the table for over two years, this is not going well.  The unremarkable second district GOP incumbent destroys all challengers by a 2 to 1 margin, and I’ve already basically told the Green Party guy he’s welcome to a few thousand of my votes. How could I win? I’m starting to tell all camp followers, “Lets’ see $2,700 and then we can talk.” Or, perhaps they want an “All Red” U.S. Congress. Is there a liberal left in Austin, or has she been deported already?

Fair & balanced I’ve been in detesting Mr. Obama and viewing Trump as almost the end of the world. What’s gone out the window in the process? Reason, civility, kindness, compromise, and my joke about The Art of War has long been, “I did not read it; I skimmed it.” When it comes to Machiavelli, I read that every year or two and still wonder what happened to my well-underlined copy from college. I have a few questions in pleading for your attention. Did my potential opponent discuss The Prince with a U.S. Navy ship librarian? He said he reads it annually too, and we agreed every tour through that classic yields new insight. Did an old Northup guy discuss the innards of a B-2 bomber with our Republican incumbent? Did JPL discuss their Mars buggy with her? I’ve got witnesses!

Want International flavor? I am not talking about I.H.O.P, where I slaved my way through a snobby Presbyterian college. I so much like Russia these days; I think the U.S. will soon be faced with a choice between a Cyber WWIII, or a once unthinkable rearming of Germany to have them do the dirty work on EU ground like WWII. China is already laughing at the new administration, and I fear they would simply laugh louder at that conflict. At least reply and tell me I can’t fill a congressional seat, or have a seat at the Carlton Woods Country Club where I was oddly invited to take a tour. Seems the Baker Hughes CEO lives at the Hughes-Summa inspired Woodlands, and I will, like Howard before me, intentionally call him “Craig.”

Thanks for your reading time,

William C. Hughes

Spelled the usual way?

Can I get a Saville Row suit? Not today!

03-07-2016

Ken  –

Kosciusko, Mississippi is where a “Charles E. Hughes” once flourished as a bootlegger. He was NOT my grandfather. Both my alleged dad and grandfather had the same name. Ditto with mom and grandmother, so of course they wanted to name me “Charles.” No, that’s my middle name. Why did the family battle for a solid week about my NAME?

I’d be happy to explain to Serina Beauparlant if I could find her. Meanwhile, I’d sure like to buy Michelle Sordi a cup of coffee at a Starbucks I nicknamed “Starbucks of the Stars.” If anybody famous comes in, Michelle will recognize them, I won’t. Why not? I’ve been made homeless in Ventura County, and tortured brutally, but fortunately, all of my screenplays and book manuscripts made it out of California on external computer drives.

As for the HANNAH MONTANA CR-R’s with my intellectual property on them, as far as I can tell, the Sheriff seized them, I got them returned, Lutheran agency stored them, they then gave them to one of my two alleged sisters, and she won’t return my phone calls. I think she needs some prison time over that.

Maybe Ms. Cyrus will stop by to tell us what she’s been up to lately. This time, I will talk to her.

Not Fooled by Fire Truck Escorts

How did you put that antenna on top?
Pardon me for knowing what it is NYPD.

08.14.2017

Dear NYFD –

First, let’s talk about hats. In 1984, I attended a Mets game and bought a blue Mets hat. Given I’m from St. Louis, this put me at risk of being called “Pond Scum.” Remember? What I recalled today is, somebody took my Mets hat!

Much later, out in California people gave me hats. They were:

Ben D. gave me a Harley Davidson hat.

A Ralph’s clerk gave me a Ralph’s grocery store hat.

City of Thousand Oaks workers gave me an Ahearn Entertainment hat.

An Iranian president’s daughter gave me a New York Film Academy hat.

Regarding the latter hat, it is fair to speculate on the identity of a stocky blond female who was present and left me headphones and a sandwich in LA’s Union Station Starbucks.

I’m a “conspiracy theorist?” No, I’m looking for Dr. David Prezant. If the good doctor is correct, and we include persons who are NOT first-responders, the death toll for 9/11 is more like 9,000 – 12,000 dead New Yorkers. No? I personally know a woman who lived on Long Island, and does not smoke cigarettes, yet has lung cancer.

You would think that someone would try to calculate this. You would think my book about 9/11, secret detentions, and your don-nothing Congress would be published by now. What’s the problem? My last name. I lie? In November of 2001, an American Airlines jet crashed in your fair city. The webpage on my State of Missouri computer misidentified both the aircraft and the location of the “accident.”

Why is the word accident in quote marks? Why don’t you send me a NYFD ball cap. I would wear it with pride and tell you more about terrorism. Who’s terrorism? Yours.

I’m nuts? No sir, what I want to know is: Who got explosives into the World Trade Center? (Too much fireball, not enough airplane parts left behind). I cannot not name the airline with a captain who agrees with me.

–Bill Hughes

LOOny Tunes

"Often it is the task of law in a mature society to repress the customs or mores of a particular group in society...Both the practices of trade associations in fixing prices to consumers and the practices of gangsters in pledging secrecy frequently are societal facts; they do not affect the validity of legal norms designed to overcome them though they may seriously limit the effectiveness of such norms."

_Edwin W. Patterson, California Law Review 31 March, 1952

Ray Heart (Attack) Man

Who is that? Who failed to punch my face? Burning up? Too bad, so sad.

 

12/05/2017

Ms. Penske –

Watching CNN? The old government-newspaperman joke is: “Nothing to see here” when there most certainly is a dead body and smoking gun. My source of evil has been variously nicknamed “Boss Lady,” “Little Darling,” or “The Wicked Witch” and I’m not getting vulgar for a new one while continuing to try and tell people you are not “getting it,” though one guy at KTRS wrote back and stated he did. So did a legislator!

She said what?

She went to St. Petersburg Russia, not Moscow, I was told. That was not what she said before the trip, Sarah. During the Trump march to Electoral College victory? I heard “I’m going to New York” and “The (shuttle) van is here.” Not using the family private jet to look poor, I suppose. I know she has one, because I saw it in the air (D.C.) and on the ground guarded by females dressed in black (Burbank, CA). Why would I make this stuff up?

Trump was, as they say in the detective novel, “set up.”

I gave Ms. Moscow the last of my good “weed” in 1985, but she does not recall ever being at my house. I was asked this: “Can you get some more?” That was the end of my “set up.” After I leveled the “spying” allegation, her mom offered to get me a job at the New York Times and could have accomplished that easily. How? Mom let it slip that Mick Jagger was one of her old boyfriends. Lying? Bill Hughes does not do that. Michelle C. might recall being naked in the gorge where Ms. Moscow never swam if we could find her. (Her family is not surprisingly in the movie business).

Happy New Year,

William C. Hughes