"The numbers racket you've reached is not in service"

Howard Hughes married as a "Johnson" Disgraceful! (And not really legal)

 

December 19, 2016 

 

Dear Musicians –

 

Okay, if anybody writes back, here is how pissed I am. You guys should understand that if I played guitar, instead of drink free beer as the soundman, there is no way even the vilest, mafia-connected promoter could yank the paycheck out of my hand. FYI, and it is no goddamn LOL, Cornell was the third decent job I was railroaded out of, and it would happen again and again. Why? It was an Uzi submachine gun at N. Corn & W. Buffalo!
 

I ran like a track meet up to the State Diner, and what transpired was so unreal I stole from my sorry life for a screenplay scene. I sat there and watched “suits” arrive and sit at the counter. There was a pay phone. Daddy Charles E. Hughes taught me this: Always carry I.D. in your wallet, and always have some change. (For an old-style March, 1986 pay phone call). To who?
 

For some reason, I called my softball coach, an attractive female named Lauren. Coach and her boyfriend came down there, and as momma said, tried to “Play me crazy.” I said, “No, those were real guns.” At their urging, I called Cornell’s clinic, and they said to make an appointment at Willard Psychiatric. I returned to the table and said, “No way! That’s like the State Hospital in St. Louis.” (Where I would later work as a state bureaucrat, buddy).
 

They drove me back to 420 and made sure I’d be “Okay.” The name of the female who responded quickly to hop in bed with me shall be withheld here. This was deemed a good excuse to go shopping with this female in her BMW and call-in sick at the Campus Store to milk the incident for all it was worth.
 

What did I find out later? This malicious prank was run exactly five years to the day after John Hinckley took a shot at Ronald Reagan and “got lucky.” Cornell records, once subpoenaed, would prove it unless they behave like Missouri officials and claim they were microfilmed and then sent to be stored in a Bosnian cave.

 

Where is J[   ] B     ]? M    [ B     ]? I do not want to hear another disconnect phone tone on his sister [     ] Ann. 

 

Write back! 

 

Bill “Scooper” Hughes

[Found alive daily in the 7800 block of Watson Road]