“You’re Gonna Get Raped”

This is not Brad Pitt
It might be a dude in Joplin, MO after the tornado
Soldier Boy gave me a tour
Not as POTUS

How many Saint Louis sportscasters can say, “I called my oil company, and…” None. Yet my King of the airwaves routinely refers to the mayor not as “Your Honor,” but rather it’s “He’s a scumbag” every day. I would not know that from personal experience, nor was I one of the 63101 “chosen” to belly-up and suck down over 16 million dollars to not erect a stadium, and not find a new football team.

Meanwhile, people I likely know are out tagging the area homeless like deer and asking how they got that way. The interviewers might, to their surprise, get a lecture on the International Monetary Fund (IMF), it’s getting so bad, not “good.”

Me? I look forward to what I referred to as the “Dew Drop Inn” and a bar with a mechanical bull. No, I do not think I am John Travolta, nor do I fly a Boeing 707 as he does. He sold it? Like Nick Cage’s many luxury homes, when times are bad in Tinseltown, even they have to cut back.

The discussion on guns is going to be very brief, and it will go like this, the first time I see one on a Texas hip. Ready? “How do you know he’s not a nut?” I will ask. The sexy Republican female will point out it is just as fast to “Whip it out” from a concealed place. I will then suggest we go back to the hotel and talk about Chris Christie’s traffic jams, and the new Doctor Paul statutory prohibition on NSA sitting in the hotel parking lot with a video feed from inside my room. “He’s still got it” they will say, and sell the sex video to some mafia creep who…

GOT A WEED CARD?

The Narco Police State

"We knew Hughes was coming, so we baked a rake."

 

Read the Federalist Papers? – No? Got a crack rock?

I was allowed to write about the Superdome in New Orleans. It was a sports piece? No. Why did I write that? It was to conceptualize how much cocaine enters the United States of America. Did my Saint Louis University Medical School doctor read my book? She did? Silence! I asked what is called a “rhetorical question,” Mr. CrackHead. The question was, “How does the stuff get in?” Corrupt Coast Guard? Of course! Cuba has no radar? Not much. Bad at math I am, but I figured it was about three Superdomes packed with white powder.

That a lot of coke! Why did the FBI bring me some? Tradition! Tradition! (I read in a published book they brought some to Howard too). What happened next, Bill? There was a problem with the levee, and I later said, “Those poor people are going to drown in there.” Still later? The young woman kicked out of the Air Force said, “I’m going to New Orleans.”

I seem to meet a lot of folks “kicked out” of the military. When people tell me they were ejected from the Navy, my stock response has become, “That’s hard to accomplish.” Where is my fancy HD video camera? The actors? The money for a very mean PAC-funded “attack ad?” You know, the Navy whistle sounds. “Where is that cocaine, sailor?” “Admiral, the Jamaican Coast Guard stopped the boat.” Admiral says, “Tell them to go to hell! Get that coke here, son!”

How about a drug test for the candidates?

Taking any medicine, Trump?

Smoking any pot, Jeb?

Taking Viagra, Marco?

The military brings in your illegal drugs.

Dirty cops will kill you and sell it, Mr. Drug Dealer.

May I possess a bottle of Aspirin?

That’s the only drug I take.

And you?

Meet Howard Ron:  He’s got a new bad movie!

“The movie that will be talked about for generations. No string is visible on the monster suit when he grows wings and flies. The space ship looks real. When body parts are severed, you will become ill. The actors have made the most money ever in human history. The plot is deep. The actors have gotten themselves in the deepest shit ever. The movie is so rough and edgy, the studio refused to release it. You will be appalled at the true story of the Bush family. They are not really from Texas, and that is why the director suffered a minor overdose. The studio lot was torched. Despite all of this, Sony has a really lousy movie ready for you and your whole family that they will never forget, it stinks so bad. Everyone will be talking about his horrid movie, a masterpiece generations have awaited, and now FinkFarm Films presents…



Lurja will be happy to beat your ass senseless, son.

314-877-6500



 

 

 

 

 

Jerry’s CIA: I Passed on That

Bristol had my baby!

No legal recourse? 

~ ~WHY NOT JEB?~ ~

Why does Jerry Ford have two presidential libraries? His people can pay for them, I suppose. I’d like to go to one of them, if I am ever allowed to drive a motor vehicle again. “The best president you/they ever had” I will allege when I get to the EU. As for the rest, I think there are plenty of loose women in the very 1990’s “Internet Café” who will want to hear me relentlessly trash them up.

As for the 2016 circus, I’d say the GOP had better promote someone from the kiddie card table fast. Democrats? I have no interest in reading anyone’s e-mail, including Hillary’s. [This includes most of the e-mail addressed to me these days].

So bored is this Hughes, psychic energy is wasted feeling sorry for Jeb Bush. Governor of Florida. Daddy and brother were allowed to be president. And? What’s the problem with Jeb? Has he ever done a bad thing in his life? (Besides smoke pot?) Probably not, which is the trouble, I believe.

Perhaps he should be found naked in a Jacuzzi with a Kardashian. Appear on a TV show and curse. Smoke cigs and be photographed. Wreck a car at high speed, and make up a story. Get a big tattoo. Do something, Jeb!

My free advice is, hide in a sleazy motel room and save all of the money for Super Tuesday, or whatever they call it these days. Buy tons of ads. Pay no attention to bully boy Trump. Sound intellectual, and don’t lose your place in the middle of big policy speeches. Go to George’s Crawford ranch and help cut down the brush. Shoot tin cans with a big gun. Get it?

As the nose raises higher in the air, suggest Rubio is sweaty on-camera, and behaves much like a weasel, because there is some sort of impropriety in his family, like the pretty wife has taken up residence with a local Volvo mechanic. Wheel out the mud and toss, but keep it short and witty. And by all means, get on TV with the National Review editors to tell them how wise they really are.

That should do it! And the Hughes saying of the day is: “As a young man I subscribed to The Nation, and read National Review at the library. By age 50, the arrangements reversed.” I became more “conservative?” No, you all went bonkers.

“Tonight, the Vanderbilt film library custodian is here with us, and we’ll feature new video of Richard Nixon pelted with garbage while the Secret Service stands around flatfooted. Later, David Koresh’s relatives will be here to talk about the Branch Dividian malfunctioning sprinkler system, and their lengthy lawsuit against Janet Reno. We welcome our new station in Bismarck, North Dakota, where despite climate change, it gets very…

 

 

 

Where's Charlie?

Can you find Charlie, .mil flat top?

I guess that TWA jet went west as well as to D.C.
Charles E. Hughes is at the Cow Palace doing what?
Mom said of Barry Goldwater...
"You are not voting for him!"
"He's crazy!"

I'm Bill Hughes, and I think Charlie Hughes voted for Barry.
Does it matter to you?

What else did Charlie say?
I asked if he had ever voted for a Democrat.
He said?
"I did once."

JFK

Look him up by using the Google box, MethBoy.

Political Plane Crash (Must be ICE)

#1 = “Shit!” #2 = Fuck!! #3 Goddammit!!

Who was spying on my HP the first time I looked up Governor Mel’s plane crash? He gave me a rare DMH raise, so…Silence, spooks! Shut up, military flat top! Cops? Be sure to maintain the fixed gaze as the fix remains in. Seems I see how my neighbor “The Runt” has shaved, thanks to Face Book. Ms. Rotter? She’s lost weight. Italy? Stay there! Where is his Hollywood prop to impersonate an alien race runt? Where is his very real device that drained the data off my laptop? Doing any spying on Ms. Fiorina? Ask Jeb, not me.

Not much investigation, NTSB. Afraid of Sheriff Boyer’s boys? I’m not, and we’re both still here. Could I start a company that replicates the little airplane and tower talk? Did the lawyers like it? A measly two million? The pump is not the problem, Jean. We need to talk. “Big Bill” has only two questions? Where is Chis Sifford’s address book? And? Who did not board Mel’s plane?

The boy from Chillicothe is where? I called his legal guardian. I also said to Charlie: “You know that Senate candidate Litton? His plane just crashed.” As with RFK, he was not happy. Heard of the legislation written by Wellstone & Domenici, MethBoy? They were not like that liar Paul Ryan and Dick “Butthead” Durbin. Yes kids, one was a Republican, and one was a Democrat. Pete is retired; Paul is dead. [Not Paul McCartney, that was a rumor].

Upon receipt of the Wellstone news, Bill Hughes said—too often—“What the fuck is that?” Then, unlike neighborhood WeedHounds, he read the report. Do you see any mention of ice? I don’t, but that is what the not at all “liberal” NaziMedia said & published. What was said was said by a pilot arriving before our murdered Senator, who said, given the Mr. Weathers conditions, there might be some icing.

What I surmised from the transcript was, with no mind-reading skills, the dirty aviator Wellstone liked figured, “Here’s a good place to crash the plane.” Drug debts? Depressed? Covert politics? Wife had a few boyfriends? Or, just plain nuts, but able to fly the plane? How about a “conspiracy theory” yanking in 9/11 V.P. Dick Cheney? I finally remembered his favorite political philosopher is Hobbes. Mine is Rousseau.

Houston, we have a problem, and I did not create it.

“Tonight, we are happy to have a brave sailor who fell overboard in the Red Sea. He woke up in a hash bar and has written a book titled, “The Real Iran: My Years With a Hookah and Hooker.” He’s now raising cattle and being visited by some very interesting craft in Montana, just down the road from Chet Huntley’s old.…               

 

The Louisville Cardinals Have Won Their First World Series! [moved out of mafia.town in 2018]

Hot Dogs! Cold Miller Lite! Fiddle Faddle! Peanuts! Cold Miller heah!

“Who’s paying for those folks?” asked the J.D. endowed sportscaster. Lawyers, Lawyers, Lawyers. Why was I not a lawyer? Like Charlie before me, I will tell the story again. The face is either a representative from SAINT LOUIS UNIVERSITY LAW SCHOOL or WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY IN SAINT LOUIS. I said, “So basically, you have to lie.” There went the not Charles Evans legal career. (In 1976).

Years later, I’d tell the story from 80 E. Hillcrest, Suite 200 in the City of Thousand Oaks to a California lawyer who claimed to bill at $800 an hour. He said, “It’s not really lying, you are just putting your client’s position in the best light.” And, he gave the same poor guy legal referrals I had already called. Yes, Dr. Paul, he’d spent about 15 minutes or $200 worth of his time on the “Job Club” phone. When the computer did not like where you were going, it said, “PRISIM.” Later, always later, I’d find it was the name of an NSA program.

Fun it was to fantasize about showing up at their Ft. Meade gate with an Uzi, and the command, “Open up! It’s the goddamn president!” Later, much AC power would have been saved when the whole complex went to emergency lighting. The big speech to Con_gress? I could write it, but it is clear I will never give it. Neither will Senator Paul, apparently. If Bernie Sanders should win with a flying pig escort for the motorcade, I’m sure he’d phrase it differently.

Back to local news, I think my neighborhood should be razed and the lowlife tossed to make way for more military spying on the peoples. The satellite can see through clouds? Of course it can! It can see if it is a Milky Way or Snickers in your belly? Wow, that’s got to be illegal when someone comes to their senses.

Meantime, that sniveling jerk PAUL RYAN has HillaryCare in the garbage can of history already. ObamaCare? Who? What the hell happened to Wisconsin, Governor Walker? Long ago I looked out the bank window and wished I was one of the state bureaucrats. At least I succeeded at that, until the big layoff. Now, all are free to get “mental” and be shot by the cops. Why the bank president was smoking cigs and talking to me, I think will soon be clear.

How about a secret “love nest” on the 500 block of West Mifflin? Rosemary could leave her California family and..” No? How about a later version of the coop hippie chick with 1981 tinfoil. Smoking weed at the register? It’s not legal yet? Why not? How about the “hippie goddess janitor” who always seemed to join me in the elevator. I did not hit the STOP button, but I could make up a porn plot story.

What did my boss with an aircraft company last name say? “She’s big slut, and is in that bar down the street every night.” And what other woman was down the street in 1980? If my ex-wife has not died, she’ll tell you I said, “If that’s Caroline, I can’t go over there at eleven o-clock. They might call the cops on me.” Librarians, it is true I spit on the public sector carpet after a reply of Ted’s “The dream will never die” speech. Why? Because it did.

Want to argue, fake liberal National Socialist? I’ll buy you a gourmet lunch at McDonald’s, and we can exchange threats. Speaking of all that, it is on my wealthy guy “to do” list to talk the baseball Cardinals owners into moving to Nashville. What are you going to do about it, River City Boosters at the MAC? Nothing! Big mafia town! Big Black Ju Ju Voodoo town!! GOT ANY METH, Beth?

“Tonight, we are happy to have a special guest who began his career with Blackwater after poking his cat’s eyes out and later roasting his neighbor’s dog on the Barbie. America is more secure, there’s just no question, due to the valiant service of…

The Kansas City Blues Are On The Air! [We all know the tune]

>Karl Marx’s Estate Cash Went To Angela Merkel. STOP THEM!<

What was this Hughes doing when the bastards at American Airlines went after the slim pickings left from my daddy’s airline? I just read, on the site I call “The source of all human knowledge” that Howie snapped-up 78 percent of the TWA stock. This enables you to start shutting down the engines with pretty Hollywood livestock on the airplane.

This caused one Jack Frye to rush to the front of the aircraft and yell, “Howard, don’t! We’ll all be killed! And if not, we we’ll get sued! We’ll lose the airline!” I can see the look on the face that looks like mine. The look said, “Why would I care? I don’t mind dying.” Have you idiots heard this one? “Money does not buy happiness.”

The flip side of that is, poverty makes you miserable, and given President Obama was fully briefed on mine, could the big black a-hole resign his office? I used to have respect for the Office, if not the occupant. That is no longer the case. That’s why I am given Canadian civics lessons from Liberal Party members. I’d say it’s time to go, before an obvious thug lies dead in my alley.

TIME WARP~~Don't 'ya hate that, meathead/pothead.

"I too am distressed by the depressurization and wild ride. Reno looks good to me. They've got sufficient concrete, and uh, I'd use the seatback phone to call your boss. LAX is not in the picture. We'll be there in about fifteen, and, uh, I'd recommend Hanks's Steakhouse if the company lacks another airplane. I'll be right back momentarily."

 

Who's in the Hole? [Delphi, Indiana]

Central Intake [Mr. & Mrs. Wheaton arrested yet?]

This Hughes cannot remember your phone number, girls. Nor does he want to. A face? It is never forgotten. My murdered by the Blum family mother said, “Look at the pictures.” Spies, we were a Look Magazine family, no Life Magazine in Charlie & Margaret’s 22^nd Street house. It was a very normal place until two adopted demons named Mary Elizabeth and Janet Elise showed up.

Why does it take awhile? To figure things out, like what? It was Malia Obama next to me at the Nazi Library. What did Victoria say about the place when distressed? “They sit in there on their cell phones staring, and then they call the cops on you.” Accurate. Reliable. Not “mental” at all. I’d say, “Sit down, I’ll watch your computer.”

Let’s remember the face of Michelle Obama. Where is she? She’s the second of two “Receptionists” at Central Intake. To my boss, Bonita DiFranco, I said, “That was a good idea. Why did they close it?” Later? “Bill, the money went to the Annex.” What was the annex? A mental health agency, GunNut!

Let’s remember “MIKE HIPPA,” who said “I’ll kill everyone in the room, if he does not call my name next.” Who is “he?” Barack Obama with a clipboard, like mine. Like Howard Hughes’. Where is he? On Olive Street, in Saint Louis, Missouri. He did not call Mike’s name. This required some “counseling,” like, “Mike, do you want to go to [Malcolm] Bliss instead?” And? “Mike, do I have to call 911?”

This “game” went on all day.

Trump assassinated yet? I did not do it.

Has the president resigned yet?

WANT THE REST?

YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

V