The Narco Police State

"We knew Hughes was coming, so we baked a rake."

 

Read the Federalist Papers? – No? Got a crack rock?

I was allowed to write about the Superdome in New Orleans. It was a sports piece? No. Why did I write that? It was to conceptualize how much cocaine enters the United States of America. Did my Saint Louis University Medical School doctor read my book? She did? Silence! I asked what is called a “rhetorical question,” Mr. CrackHead. The question was, “How does the stuff get in?” Corrupt Coast Guard? Of course! Cuba has no radar? Not much. Bad at math I am, but I figured it was about three Superdomes packed with white powder.

That a lot of coke! Why did the FBI bring me some? Tradition! Tradition! (I read in a published book they brought some to Howard too). What happened next, Bill? There was a problem with the levee, and I later said, “Those poor people are going to drown in there.” Still later? The young woman kicked out of the Air Force said, “I’m going to New Orleans.”

I seem to meet a lot of folks “kicked out” of the military. When people tell me they were ejected from the Navy, my stock response has become, “That’s hard to accomplish.” Where is my fancy HD video camera? The actors? The money for a very mean PAC-funded “attack ad?” You know, the Navy whistle sounds. “Where is that cocaine, sailor?” “Admiral, the Jamaican Coast Guard stopped the boat.” Admiral says, “Tell them to go to hell! Get that coke here, son!”

How about a drug test for the candidates?

Taking any medicine, Trump?

Smoking any pot, Jeb?

Taking Viagra, Marco?

The military brings in your illegal drugs.

Dirty cops will kill you and sell it, Mr. Drug Dealer.

May I possess a bottle of Aspirin?

That’s the only drug I take.

And you?

Meet Howard Ron:  He’s got a new bad movie!

“The movie that will be talked about for generations. No string is visible on the monster suit when he grows wings and flies. The space ship looks real. When body parts are severed, you will become ill. The actors have made the most money ever in human history. The plot is deep. The actors have gotten themselves in the deepest shit ever. The movie is so rough and edgy, the studio refused to release it. You will be appalled at the true story of the Bush family. They are not really from Texas, and that is why the director suffered a minor overdose. The studio lot was torched. Despite all of this, Sony has a really lousy movie ready for you and your whole family that they will never forget, it stinks so bad. Everyone will be talking about his horrid movie, a masterpiece generations have awaited, and now FinkFarm Films presents…



Lurja will be happy to beat your ass senseless, son.

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