St. Charles Stench

Jack the door code and...going to Cuba like tho bad old days?

 

09.05.2016

Dear Ms. Giessman:

Yes, I really did turn down a scholarship offer at Westminster College, and I am not alleging it was cause & effect on President Franc McCluer returning to Lindenwood from Westminster for my Freshman year, but it might have been. Before I started on my uneventful holiday weekend in a slummy motel room where I am imprisoned, I called a SLU Law School grad and said, “This cannot continue.”

I then called my two contacts at Michael Shonrock’s office and told them if you encounter any resistance on finding a photo of me and possibly running an article in an alumni publication, I’m hiring a non-uber taxicab if necessary, and I’m later in his office fully expecting to talk this over. I actually sent the SLU-trained St. Louis lawyer a photo of the San Diego attorney who might help seal a movie deal for me, yet all metro barristers remain paralyzed at their speakerphone button. At a minimum, we could argue about the California attorney’s daughter and her 2009-2016 behavior, not about whether Jet Pilot is a good movie or not. (Lindenwood should show Universal’s “short version” on Friday night with an accompanying feminist lecture on how women were not supposed to fly fighter jets, but Howard Hughes the visionary thought so). Gotcha! Did I mention a guy from Universal joined the throng that likes to hit my car?

Moving right along to Lindenwood “smoking guns,” it seems at least two of my radio associates were CBS employees, not students. Computer lab man Bart Gill apparently received money from Exxon to teach me a thing or two, and the equipment came from CBS Radio, where contemporary staff would not air my obituary if I had Howard’s fortune. Further, my Junior and senior year advisor Bob White apparently had a radio job much like my late documented dad did in Herrin, Illinois. It is an ABC affiliate to this day, and this weekend I shall see if their station in Los Angeles still answers the phone with, “What do you want, Hughes?”

How absurd can this get? If Lindenwood makes it to a 200 year old birthday bash, I am sure no other grad will have ever called seeking a photo of himself because: 1). He has none; 2). His own immediate kinfolk will not even discuss providing one; 3). All extended family whereabouts are unknown; 4). A 1970’s “business partner” who had a 35mm camera and darkroom access will not provide one. 5). Calls to the family of a deceased “business partner” with thousands of photos yielded not one. 6). A Lindenwood ’78 grad with a work study key to the LC darkroom and hundreds of photos of me said, “I can’t help you.” 7). I am not expending any more of my time and energy on wild goose chases after live or dead Lindenwood IV founders. The “studies” were to take place in Washington, D.C., Los Angeles, and St. Charles. Not odd on the face of it? There was apparently a “Washington, D.D.” and the campus had 14,000 students back then, or perhaps the Ibis editor was smoking marijuana I did not bring on campus.    

Now tell me my birth record is genuine, when pediatricians do not deliver babies with forceps, but Air Force obstetricians do. You might want to solicit the current LC administration’s comment on my seat to the alleged delivery Colonel’s right at his retirement party. He “picked up” a Lindenwood chick by hanging around the Post WWII gate and married her! May I look for her photo too? Charlotte’s daughter looked more like dad, and we did indeed live in Presbyterian sin for several years.     

It was my maternal Granny who said, “When it’s time, roll-up the paddy wagon.”

William C. Hughes