Fired!

Almost "hit" turning left out of the Jeff City PANERA? Debra & Jeff are black. May I get the hell out of this prison camp? I'll call the goddamn SS! Why bother, if 'ya get what I mean. TODAY'S LOWLIGHTS: "There's not two of you, is there?* She indicated "No," thank God.

"I got a call from the Secret Service. They acted like assholes."
FOX NEWS COMMENTARY: "Well Wendy, I guess that's why they called Hughes four out of five times."

May I Have Some Vodka? Just Call Me "Boris"

“The time on the game clock has expired. The spying and murdering game is over”

Another Potential Girlfriend! Carl's Jr. or McDonalds?

It really happened in St. Louis. California, I'm going to start asking "Trick Questions." Do they notice the .mil helicopters shaking GSAC cuckoo glass? "Just a routine exercise" my ass. [Or maybe it is the the real governmnet]


"[Conservatives] want to literally take meals from our kids and run over our kids."
- Leon Panetta


"[Conservatives] want to make war on the kids of our country."
- Bill Clinton


"You would have liked the hockey game. There were lots of kids there."
- P. Blumenthal


Are you talking that infuriating "spy talk?" Hughes does not talk that crap.

"They'd be even better if we paid them."
- GSAC ubiquitous mafia man
THE FEDS WHO ARE COMING FOR YOU AFTER I ESCAPE FROM THE PARK ARE COMPENSATED. NOT WELL ENOUGH, IN MY POLITICAL OPINION.


"When the time comes, roll-up the paddywagon."
- Maggie Leonard, 1960


"The Grateful Dead? What the hell kind of name is that for a band?"
- Uncle Jim Leonard, 1967


"You know more than me."
- George Lebanon, 01.27.2012


Mister Bruce! Now they're really humoring me bad!

Really? I knew they liked me!

"I have no problem with it." Better act right, Thousand Oaks, because unfortunately, I know what that means. Aunt Doris wasn't murdered? Yes, she was!

It's my retired POTUS library site, vc drugboy/thugboy. Don't argue, or I'll "Call the cops." [such as they are...whew! It's different, St. Louis. Is Alonzo a Lieutenant yet? Not yet?]

TRUTH Strikes Again!

GSAC Painter: "You saved the day."
Hughes: "I'm your next goddamn president."

Blumenthal: "I heard on the news somebody might put a nuke on one of those ships offshore."
Hughes: "If that thing goes off, we're goners."

Never Before, Never Again

My, it's getting warm in the Goebel Computer Lab, and...I seem to have forgotten what I came in here for. 

On another relevant topic for old spies, I know why he fell down. Have you "Called the cops" yet, GSAC? Why? "Alyce" is getting a criminal complaint filed on her lying ass. So is "Minister & P.I." Rob. It's all about coonskins on the wall, and what color is the president? Who did I vote for until I was taken prisoner in "T.O." Mr. Independent?

It's my SAVANNAH. Now let's don't argue, Dougie. So mafia, this town!

And who is this? Silence! Or, ask Paris, and I'm just not talkin' that damn spyin' "double talk," am I Disney?

"I am pleased to present the Hughes Administration's highest honor, the Gold Rat Statuette. Made in China in more ways than one, ladies and gentlemen."

"Time warp? What the [EXPLETIVE DELETED is this [EXPLETIVE DELETED]? Get General Dickhead in here! What? A telegraph key? Whatever the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] still works around here! Jesus! Why did they stick me in this [EXPLETIVE DELETED] job?"


So you think I enjoy starving to death in full view? You are going to a FEDPEN, Mister Starched Undies. I have three "escape plans" that cannot be foiled. Let us not trouble the "ASS" (Above Secret Service) people any longer. May I tell the "Maple Leaf Backpacks Story" on TV? Thanks, kook! Want an update? How I enjoy JPL riding by taking a look at the "E.T. Chasers." Yes Ruskies, I do rehearse my lines, like, "Forty feet down...kicking up some red dust." Hey Buzz, you suckl!!! Who stole my model rocket? Who stole my speech meet awards? See you in North Carolina, where I'm going to make the hall look like a painting. (From my perspective on the (D) Orwell Stage, Rich McDaniel.)

He tried very hard in Iowa. [more than once] Where did my Dick Gephardt quote go, Newt? It may have been "disappeared" by Martians, but more likely not.

Who's Driving That Mail Truck? (NOT valerie plame, you morons!)

See my "other blog" for new bluster & fuming. Why do I prefer outdoor deification? No ca GAY GUYS! There's sure a lot of them. Why do Illuminati kooks follow me around to create misspellings? Howard Hughes and Conrad Hilton did not spell well, but they sure as hell made some money. Is Paris a good speller? Only "The Feds" know, not me. Not yet. Time to sleep under the conference table, Ken. What is he talking about?


CEH: "One of my guys towed Howard Hughes' old Gulfstream out of storage. They're going to restore it."
WCH: "That's nice, dad." {movie man details: HP tower, AT&T 710 phone, 911 St. Rita, same hair} 

Better than a movie! We discussed many things in a short time. I was thinking, "She's in good shape. No wedding ring? Damn! Aw, who cares." As she hopped in the truck with very little mail, t.o. twits, I asked, "Where's your uniform?" The reply? "I left it behind." The engine started. She drove off. And, what does a Hughes think? "When did you quit the Post Office and sign-on with the C.I.A.?" No mail in the truck? Good night!


CUT TO:


The truck pulling-up to a USPS jet. [They have them too, FedEx] They hand over the letter. The stairs go up. The door closes. The engine r.p.m. goes up. Tell me I'm wrong.


Alex on The Internet as we knew it: "Use Google." Did she buy stock in 2002? That little rascal!
Brit-Brit on me running for governor: "Why would you do that?" [Her papa's a lawyer. I get a lot of that]

Facebook Revolution, eh? Don't think so! KEY NAMES: "Terri Stock" & "Harvey Banks"
"Honey, what's wrong with the damn Paypal link? We're broke!"
COMMERCE BANK? "Bank of the 9/11 Hijackers." Right Claire? Right! And, like a cheap-o dope deal, Sun Trust Bank took the fall. "I don't stalk presidents, they stalk me." No Betsy today? Bad ju-ju, boys. Sleep tight, tonite. Has anyone seen Peter and Doug lately?

All Illuminati, All the Time

A big crack-up on I-610 in Texas? Please, let us die honorably, Mr. Bruce. That plan on the green pickup truck lacked not a thing. When will they be back?


Not So Great Moments in American History:
She said: "Don't steal my flyers."
Hughes said: "Blah, blah, blah."
What?
IT'S THE MOTHER OF ALL CLASS ACTION SUITS, ED.
I said, over my a.m. coffee, "Aw those Kennedys. Sending in drunks to start fights. Not terribly original, but it does stir it up. Old school as well."


May I look-up Ken's address now? Not that Ken!


Dear Ask-a-Spy:
"When the fit fitness instructor, a female, calls you 'Ken,' what does it mean? Should I ask for her cell phone number?"

I can hear the pin drop in Charlotte if I get the f___ out of here. I'm writing the speech, Mr. President. Teleprompter? No way! It will be just me, Almighty God, and the whir of a big-assed Trane or Carrier convention hall air conditioner, right? May I wink at the Fox News booth? it won't mean anything.
Ever give a speech, pilgrim? When the audience looks like a painting, you're doing well. The Democrats, I predict, would either be too stunned to react (clap/boo), or the Charlotte cops will be coming for me. You can watch on TV.

Hughes said: "Any more new rules today?"
She said: "No." {And, our All-American Lutheran Jill will make the photocopies tonight. Got yellow legal pads? Got filler paper? Got a notebook? Affirmative an all systems. Go!}


Did I mention you will be justifiably homicided if you try to take my screenplay sitting on the GSAC patio? Two reliable sources have already told me I'm to be murdered over it. Me? call the cops? Surely you jest! "May I use your cellphone to call the Seattle Secret Service office?" No? What I'm saying is, "They run like rodents with their tails on fire." I really, really don't know why.


Help! I'm turning into a spy! That rescue lady is not getting what she wants. How about some log lines? Book outline? She can have 15%, and the agent gets 10% Mother of God, I'm Howard's grandson and the mafia billiard room said I may wear their gifted sweatpants in a hotel room? You think you're stopping that? Think again, buddy. BTW, what is the log line for hughesscreenply#9? May I think? May I be murdered in the Best Western? So much more dignified. How does Pay Pal work? How can dumb anarchists make a living off it? It must be easy enough. Does McClellan know I finally figured out how a plane stays in the air from an NTSB accident report when it unfortunately did not? His book is ready and mine is...? Not right! I'll see you at the old same Denny's, pal.

Deal? Hangings Are Traditionally at Dawn, Right Soldier? Right!

"They know the city has money."
- CRPD Park Automaton

"That's a deal."
- Anonymous Blond, Female CRPD Smoker

"Live where you work? That's like eating dinner next to where you just took a shit."
- William Hughes

Round-up The Usual Innocent

Tea Party? Hughes says, "We already had one."

Occupy Wall Street? Hughes says, "That didn't work."

Hughes might say, "Those GOP guys are dorks, and the president is crazy. Let's have a "Shadow Election" on the Internet, and elect me.* Rigged? You bet! I'd sure like to hear it again. What? "Hughes...by a landslide."

"Mister Hughes,. how do you know that might not get you arrested?"
"When there's more damn Secret Service running around me than him."
"Who?"
"Some black guy; I forgot his name."

More Photocopies, Sweetie: It's "The Man"

Bill

Lady Gag Gag

I'll get to both of you when I have time. Meanwhile, I'm blessed with a guest who's daddy says, "Go get 'em!" [And, I think she does, however, we shall not define "get," "camping," "piling," or any other "ing" words that ca kooks need clarification on. Man, it's hard to be from Missouri out here!]

Name Changes! Steve & Ed Need New Signage

SUGGESTED NAME CHANGE DEPARTMENT:
By a "T.O." Resident -
GOEBEL CENTER to  HUGHES CENTER


By me, William Hughes -
BOBBY'S MEMORIAL ELECTRICAL CLOSET to QUEEN VICTORIA'S SUITE


What does it mean? What does it mean?
YOU MUST COME TO THOUSAND OAKS AND FIND OUT. Phone message? What message? TWO GSAC staff members reported the phone 805-381-2744 has been ringing off the hook for "Hughes," I am the Hughes, and pray tell, why am I still in the park?
The investigation [does not seem to] continue, if it ever started. May I say something uncomplimentary about the president on TV? I'm not too conservative. Not too liberal. Just right.
Not yet?

Bought-Out, Bulldozed, or Nuked?

What is ANDREA KOVAL'S real name?
The GOEBEL SENIOR ADULT CENTER COMMISSION wants to know. As does the United States Secret Service, because the f---ing FBI does not give a doodly squat abot me, girl.
New furniture leads to, "Toss the homeless?"
That ain't gonna work!

35 months homeless, and fed out the back door of GSAC like a starving mongrel? I must be the best damn spyCATCHER ever! Better than Howard or Charlie! Hey, Koval, Wiley, & Schmidt! Who was running the real CIA when they tried to get me "in?"
GEORGE H.W. BUSH
scary, but not.
How stupid am I?
"They" tried in 1975, and I just figured out they really wanted me last night?
Pathetic; as is your constant, and ILLEGAL harassment of homeless persons in Thousand Oaks.
"Somebody's going to a FedPen," and it ain't me, babe!
For what, Smoky?
Camping? What goddamn camping?
What are you jackasses talking about?
Fake Secret Service said what?
"Have you been to Kennybunkport?"
"Yes."
"Did you go to the compound?"
"Of course not!" [nor the dog pound]
O.S.I.J. - "It's a real concept!"

Bodies in the Bay! Film at Eleven

Not her! I saw a picture or two of her house. As we said in Belle Neighbors, MO during the energy-impaired 1970's, "Must be nice."
To just a few non-scandals of the day!

Face Book no workee for me Dept: 
FPRIVATE "TYPE=PICT;ALT="
William Hughes Let's try it again, hacker-morons. Let's not. You were made Jen's friend? It's her agent's people, or some Brandeis student making minimum wage. It's not? I've got eight, going on nine fine screenplays for sale, and my grandpa owned RKO. The flicks were nothing to brag about but he MADE A LOT OF MONEY. Gogle it, kooks! 
2 seconds agoUnable to post comment. Try Again


On the Post-Dispatch/Face Book Site:
"What happened to Newt? Missing in action? Lost his Index Cards? Somebody broke-in his old Congressional file cabinet containing not even a lame half-good idea?"


KWIK QUOTES:
"I don't get into politics."
"If you talk to me at all, I'll knock you out."
"That should be easy to prove."


THE LATTER QUOTE WAS FROM A FORMER AEROSPACE WORKER AT A COMPANY, THE NAME OF WHICH BEGAN, AND SHALL BEGIN AGAIN WITH AN "h"


Let's review, psychotic crazy check frauds:
I'm English, Irish, and Prussian.
This means you've got a problem, not me.
Nighty night, girls.

The USPS Mailbag Runneth Over

Were any "super-straight" American greats in danger of going to jail over non-moving violations? It's enough to make me want a fast car, in order to EARN my tickets. Let us embarrass them with some "top choice" quotes. Why do political writers read a lot? To gain inspiration from the rants of others. No, I am not getting in trouble for the behavior of others, and Jill has been informed of my hourly rate for psychotherapy. It's a bargain!!! [One-half of my reimbursement rate 20 years ago. As my baseball coach exclaimed, "What do you want, gravy?"]

"I'd rather raise hell than raise vegetables."
- Eleanor "Cissy" Patterson

"So, you've got to ask yourself...at what point is this [Texas] budget akin to asking an anorexic person to lose more weight."

- Texas Rep. Joaquin Castro

"Yeah, 'cause people can get into those computers."
- Alan G. [on my future Olympia manual typewriter]

"[a sane politician] recognizes man is indeed his brother's keeper, insists that the laborer is worthy of his hire, demands that justice shall rule the mighty as well as the weak" [my emphasis]
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Texas is going to shrink government until it fits in a woman's uterus."
- Texas Sen. Leticia Van de Putte

"There's an evil mutant gene in the Republican Party. I don't know if there's any cure for it."
- Former Texas Lt. Governor Bill Hobby

"The gap between sizzle and steak never seemd so large or alarming, and inquiring minds want to know what went wrong" [with Barack].
- Noemie Emery

"We're kind of disappointed in him" [Obama].
- "Dani"

Now I know why "they" fought that Word Press hughes for governor blog so hard.
Gotta start somewhere.
Am I in New Hampshire?
No.
Which state? Do you have problems like this?
No, you don't.

Aircraft? Why I'm a "schizophenic,bipolar,adhdmess." Rachel, could you bring a damn DSM-IV? I seem to be writing DSM-V, again without any compensation, although Mr. Bruce did toss me an advocado. It's even ripe.

"Alright, position and hold on the, uh, left side".
"Final appears clear. Transponder is TARA"
"Brake? Thank you. Brake fans?"
"Fans are off"
- Two guys about to crash a really big airplane [I have no idea why. Actually, I do.] COURTESY OF NTSB

Shot through the head, because he's so sane
Mister Hughes won't play games
Sung to a certain Bon Jovi tune.
Gina's diner? Not today.
Mimi?
No!