Dear Perfesser

How rude those Irish are!

February 5, 2017 

 

Dear Professor Skinner: 

I began doing social service work in 1978 when my falsely alleged to be mentally ill mother would not get out of my 1972 Datsun 1200 at Saint Louis State Hospital. Later, during the apogee of my behavioral health career, I would work for almost three years under that 5400 Arsenal Street dome. I’d further like you to know that if Governor Mel Carnahan had not died in a suspicious plane crash, I’d still be working there, instead of trying to launch a campaign for congress on a $520 state pension. 

I read your abstract on homelessness, I will not read your paper, and I will tell you why. The reason is, I am quite sure supposedly homeless “Hollywood Bums” paid for by real estate developer RICHARD BLUM were able to look up every one of my professional publications. Today, I fear Democrat decision-makers in Missouri cannot, or will not. The California “bums” also functioned as crude thugs who, among other crimes, tried to set my substantial head of hair on fire. Property rights are apparently null out there, as my “stuff” was illegally seized, leading me to believe Diane Feinstein missed the point on your Fourth Amendment. 

I’ve just been told by a guy who would know that my DNA link to New York’s Charles Evans Hughes, Iowa’s Harold Everett Hughes and New Jersey’s Richard John Hughes means nothing in today’s political arena. Okay, by that logic, a Hall of Fame Baseball player’s son could not get a minor league tryout with a variety of pitches and a fastball in excess of 100 m.p.h. 

Traveling further down the Alice in Wonderland path, I suppose my work with seven sheriff departments and every police agency in St. Louis means nothing. My area of expertise is mental illness and danger in my “other life” as a clinical social worker and crisis intervener that was taken from me in the State of California for daring to go there and attempt to sell a screenplay! 

Now, I’m not welcome on my old high school or college campus. Given that fact, why not “pitch” my favorite “delusional” federal law I’d like to help write as a freshman congressman from Missouri’s Second District at age 63. Put simply, if a movie is only a platform for shooting, killing, sex, and drug use, the producer is indicted, tried, and goes to prison. I for one have had enough with violence-laden song lyrics and tasteless, gratuitous movie gunplay and gory depiction of death by firearm. This does not incite real-life violence? I could introduce an avalanche of evidence gathered since the mid 1960’s if any courageous liberals gave me some money. [Don’t worry Mafia; I would surely exclude “porno” from this law]. As has long been said in legal circles on other issues, my take is, “I know porn when I see it.” 

When I arrived in 2008 Hollywood, Ms. Jolie stared down from huge billboards brandishing the mandatory large handgun. The skinny female arm and an enormous handgun? It’s got to go! Fully aware of Constitutional Law since I told a law school dean “No thanks” in 1977, here is how I see it. The sole First Amendment word wealthy cinema garbage peddlers would have to rely on is “speech.” A movie theater is not a church. It is not a political assembly, movies are not inherently “political,” and the disgusting Machete franchise is not political speech to me at all. A brassiere that doubles as a dual, rapid shooting firearm? Feminists have come a long way when nipples on actress breasts are depicted as shooting machine gun bullets. 

By golly, I’d sure like to dig in to the papers of former narco terrorist fighting congressman William Hughes, who I was–duh—told about as a young man. Military grade assault weapons are for sale to any brazen sociopath who has not yet landed in the jailhouse? Nuts! Insane! As George W. Bush said of inoperable Air Force One phones on 09/11/2001, this trash to me is “unacceptable.” The spy movie “silencer” is for sale under the table at unregulated gun shows? As my Cornell University boss said, “Not okay” in my humble left wing opinion. 

My joke for years regarding “millennials” rather blatantly selling illegal drugs has been: “We want money now.” I want money now too, in order to run for congress as a “maverick” Democrat. Have you read Medicaid and Medicare regs for decades? That experience makes my Obamacare position this: “A disaster.” Did you say health care? If I had money for carefully targeted TV ads, I’d find my old pal Darrel to take an inhalation of powerful, legal, California “weed.” As he violently coughed, I’d walk into the digital viewfinder and say: “A doctor prescribed your pot?” My position on marijuana has not changed since 1976, and it remains “Put it next to the cigarettes.” The state gets $10 in tax, the feds get $20 per pack, and the retail cost is $40-$60. Two things I know from reading political journals that would stack up to the moon is, Congress would find a way to spend the money, and the streets would not be paved with gold. That would come about by selling cocaine at CVS and Walgreens.

 

Thanks, 

 

William C. Hughes