Delusion #89

02.13.2017

Dear Mr. Campbell –

It all started on a street corner when a man came up to me, admired my big radio tower, and said, “You ought to put a motor on your bike.” That was 1966, and I did also wonder why the police would help launch model rockets where it was decidedly illegal, but they did. Flashing forward to 2013, a Lutheran agency official who point blank said, “You are related to Howard Hughes” is unfortunately now deceased. She also endorsed my dinner date not yet consummated with Andrea Mullin, who was at that time managing the senior center. I assume she is still alive and last resided in Ronald Reagan’s hometown of Simi Valley, CA. When I was advised of the additional fee at Reagan’s library to see an old Air Force One I said, “I’m not paying for that” and departed.

My car was later wrecked, every public & private computer was crashed, and all phones were stolen. This lends credibility to what the late Ms. Ortuno said. Following this disastrous time in California, I branched out my research to the many politicians and public officials with my name. However, given my dozens of pleasant conversations with Baker Hughes prior to the layoff frenzy down there, I simply wonder if you might want to write about me. My qualifications for the oil business are like the story on political credentials. I went to college with a pack of newly arrived Saudis, and an Iranian female gave me a hat. Isn’t that enough if Al Franken is a U.S. Senator? There is no story here when my science fair laser beam was denied in favor of an oil derrick that did not win anything under the sponsorship of our pathetic liberal newspaper?

Put bluntly, I need political help. The latest supposed “pie in the sky” is to barely remain a Democrat and simply seek a congressional seat here in Missouri. Like my movie deal on the table for over two years, this is not going well.  The unremarkable second district GOP incumbent destroys all challengers by a 2 to 1 margin, and I’ve already basically told the Green Party guy he’s welcome to a few thousand of my votes. How could I win? I’m starting to tell all camp followers, “Lets’ see $2,700 and then we can talk.” Or, perhaps they want an “All Red” U.S. Congress. Is there a liberal left in Austin, or has she been deported already?

Fair & balanced I’ve been in detesting Mr. Obama and viewing Trump as almost the end of the world. What’s gone out the window in the process? Reason, civility, kindness, compromise, and my joke about The Art of War has long been, “I did not read it; I skimmed it.” When it comes to Machiavelli, I read that every year or two and still wonder what happened to my well-underlined copy from college. I have a few questions in pleading for your attention. Did my potential opponent discuss The Prince with a U.S. Navy ship librarian? He said he reads it annually too, and we agreed every tour through that classic yields new insight. Did an old Northup guy discuss the innards of a B-2 bomber with our Republican incumbent? Did JPL discuss their Mars buggy with her? I’ve got witnesses!

Want International flavor? I am not talking about I.H.O.P, where I slaved my way through a snobby Presbyterian college. I so much like Russia these days; I think the U.S. will soon be faced with a choice between a Cyber WWIII, or a once unthinkable rearming of Germany to have them do the dirty work on EU ground like WWII. China is already laughing at the new administration, and I fear they would simply laugh louder at that conflict. At least reply and tell me I can’t fill a congressional seat, or have a seat at the Carlton Woods Country Club where I was oddly invited to take a tour. Seems the Baker Hughes CEO lives at the Hughes-Summa inspired Woodlands, and I will, like Howard before me, intentionally call him “Craig.”

Thanks for your reading time,

William C. Hughes