Charlie's Charmed Life

The door was open? You know where, Admiral. "Run along, kids." I got in the door, you scummy U.S. Navy motherfuckers!! Why not crack-up an expensive plane on meth? Costly, right McCain? What are you doing in those labs off I-495? Lose your keys lately? Cell phone gone? Better call Verizon and keep Alexander updated. It's all legal! Really? Ron Paul? Your place? We'll keep the Hilton girls at a safe distance. I promise.

He got to do what? And google psychics are passing clues on which one of Mr. Boeing's planes. I could sure use Mr. Raytheon's missiles about now. I'd like to clear-up some matters with insurrectionist lunatics, but they don't talk too much. Not much.

The guy on the left is smarter than me? I think not. Got Howard's DNA? Hope not.

"I am crazed, and a United States Senator blowing hot air in the wee hours. We cannot have this sort of  competence displayed by any leader, as this would foil our DARPA anarchy plan. The p-word must do other things, like read goat stories in the nation's classrooms, and jog to McDonald's, where Pete will buy him a McMuffin. Therefore, the safety and security of our nuclear triad depends on your vote for my bill, 'The President Cannot Fly His Own Helicopter Act of 2018'."

The President of the United States [even though we have our <cough, cough> differences] had his eldest daughter on a library computer to the left of mine? Told you I don't work for H.W. Get the JOE FRIDAY facts. She gave the GRANT R. BRIMHALL LIBRARY a dirtier look than Hughes. This does mean something, mental cases.

West Side Story rehearsal, New York City. May I go there again and be told I'm "paranoid" for being right? Howard Stern has some satellite deal now, I hear.

Now, all moronic, drug-gorked T.O. "secret agents" know what mom said about all this? No? Mighty familiar sound gear in the background, eh? Cover me, Tireree/KDHX/John the Mailman, etc. etc. etc. This is really, really, bad out here. Not good. I know you speak English!