"Are you now, or have you ever been from Saint Louis?"

George who?

 

08.12.2017

Dear Brian –

Ray Hartman wrote back to me on Facebook long ago. Former RFT guy William Stage would not come over to my Carondolet neighborhood house. His excuse? “I got a wife and kids.” KDHX was called early on, and they said this: “We know you are not crazy or dangerous, but we are not coming over there.” Yes, St. Louis likes to brag on its neighborhoods, so I took a walk by Hartford Coffee where the counter guy said, “We believe in you.”

Yeah, sure you do. I’m starting to think you are all nuts, because when I took my walk I saw signs for a half-dozen alarm/security companies I had never heard of. Maybe I should hire a woman I know who works at one and start my own. She says she works for the C.I.A. as well. How would I know, and why would I give a shit if she does? Back to your favorite topic of Saint Louis, I have one question. Does anybody else in this town have trouble keeping appointments with Hollywood movie producers? You want their names? After I tried for 30 years to get the freaking appointment? I think you’ve all gone “Mad Russian” around here, so here’s a little trivia for you to prove you and I are from around here.

Big prizes! Big fun!! Are you from St. Louis, dude?

ONE: There are two old water towers on the North Side. Name the streets they are on or die.

TWO: Before there was an I-170, there was a state road. Give us the number or be hung in your dressing room.

THREE: The street named “Tucker” is named after who? You don’t know? Must be from Philly and about to be hit by a truck.

FOUR: The Gateway Arch was dedicated in what year? Quick, as our hitman is on the way.

FIVE: The people who ran the Community Access channel when St. Louis first got cable TV are who? They are still around, and if you don’t know you will be tossed in front of a Metrolink train.

SIX: There was a legendary D.J. at my old college station playing bluegrass music. His name is? Oh, so you came here for a job at Wash U.

SEVEN: When the Cardinals won the World Series in 1964, the second baseman was who? Better call KMOX “Sports Open Line” before the poison placed  your coffee kicks-in.

EIGHT: On the 1120 topic, who was “The Big Bumper?” You don’t know? Well, you can’t fix stupid.

NINE: What are the FCC call letters of Channel Nine? Looks like you are catfish food if you don’t know. Another in body in river for the SLMPD to fish out.

TEN: Who was the first owner of the Blues, sports fans? You don’t know? Good God, you must have voted for Trump!   

Anyone who answers all ten correctly will receive a large crust of bread pulled from the dumpster behind a fine restaurant on “The Hill.”

BONUS QUESTION: Name a famous guy from “The Hill.” You just got here? Better call Kutis! (That a funeral home, dude).

Thanks for whatever,

Bill Hughes

Rosary

Lindenwood

SLU

“And the world,” as AM 550 says