LA: Not Confidential

04-27-2017

Dear Advocates:

I’ve been trying to make a Hollywood type movie since 1986. In 2010, several people in “The Business” read my work and said, “This is good.” The old con job line is “Keep writing,” isn’t it? The script snoops included a fallen TV producer, a famous comedian, and a now deceased Star Trek actor. Not related to Howard Jr.? Are you nuts? I’m not.

I’m so happy with LA and Governor Brown, if North Korea lobbed a nuke on you, I’d laugh. Does the sheriff illegally take your screenplay and fail to return all of the pages? Do flunky actors chase you around a hot parking lot while high? Does the WGA “misplace” your screenplay?

Did you say “politics?” All are free to look up my failed FEC PAC at www.fec.gov. The idea was to raise a few million and make like Ralph Nader. The difference was I’m not a Republican [Nazis] or Democrat [Mafia]. I thought I could start a joke of the Third Party. Instead, I ended up a Lieutenant in General Jeff’s Skid Row Army.

When Jeff and “Soldier Boy” approached incognito at Main & Cesar Chavez, I believe I said, “I like sleeping on Chinatown bus benches; Skid Row is not my style.” Later, when a guy in Union Station said, “I’m an old Black Panther. I’m a communist” my response was, “Nice to meet you” and I shook his hand. This went down right alongside friendly chats with KABC 790 people, and many may have noticed their leftward drift since.

When it comes to bipartisan rhetorical head chopping, I’ve been known to refer to former President Obama as “That skinny little Mafia [N-word] from Chicago” in the same breath as calling the new guy simply “The Incompetent.” This could have, in a different dimension left me a fan of Alex Jones podcast, but in this world I say, “That guy is nuts.” Yes, when a certain Arabic TV network was approached and quizzed, the assignment was to cover “Some demonstration” and the guy seemed to care little about alleged “news” content.

The way spies play it in USA, I was also penalized for chatting with a female Univision reporter and her cameraman when CHARTER COMMUNICATIONS removed them from my cable box. She was later promoted to the anchor desk, and thank God a Swiss woman got me out of the hellhole you call “Los Angeles.” If you’d like to visit Saint Louis, know that our River Des Peres looks just like the LA River, but we already have jogging paths. I’d recommend a surgical mask because on a bad day it smells like all of LA.