counsel@barackobama.com: cc:Calling All GOP Cars

Run for president to meet hot newsgirls? Kerry's 2004 Secret Service stooges know it's the truth! Wrong way on Market Street? No way to get on I-64 West? You'd been "set-up" with wrong directions, whereas I was a travel Counselor at AAA. These are the facts! I was bent over laughing, and "they" did not look happy. Payback time! I know where you've been consuming alcoholic beverages, and I do not have any spies.

I decided to tone down my e-mail to the president, but first I need to lose my mind, in order to better fit in with my Republican competition. Michelle said gays can marry the opposite sex, and then what? The psychoanalytic literature is full of gay guys from the 1950's and 1960's who were quite gay with four kids and a boyfriend they met in the park on the weekend. I make more sense than that by far. Help!

The bricks are ready, as I prepare to go on record against women in the military. This started in 1999 with an eyeball on Ft. Campbell people on the way to...is Mr. Bruce bored and yelling for me to shut up yet? Anyway, I have reviewed correspondence on a very public bulletin board, Ken-Ken, from the snow-shoveling gals at the 7th STB S-1 {whatever the f--- that is} serving our nation in Afghanistan, because we pay no attention to the fact 300,000 or so Russian troops were run out of there. Look it up on Google. When it comes to the 1st Lieutenant, call me Bill Colby.


As I've said of the Raytheon/Hughes missile-worthy old spooks, somebody's got to pay for bottling-up the best candidate in the field for over three years. Perfectly normal it is in democracies to get elected and toss your predecessor in jail. Grandpa let Nixon off easy. Not his Oreo--he's going to jail. Never heaved a Chief Executive in the slammer? I'm all about change, and as a good liberal, I'm so sorry it's a black guy. What's that battle cry? "Worse than Bush!!"

Bimbo #9? My source, a hygiene-challenged lad from Boston, Massachusetts says "Hermanator" is outta there. I hope not. What's the Hughes "problem." NO CRIMES, NO SPYING, AND NOT A SPEC OF BLACKMAIL. Despite being "bugged" my entire adult life? As an old boss named Ray said, more than once, perhaps I'll "ascend into heaven." After I kick all of your asses. As momma said, it's time to "Screw blue and tattoo."


GO BELL QUOTE OF THE DAY:
H: "Three years, and practically no last names. That's really weird."
M: "Not in this town."


I shall compose my nasty e-mail to Barack under the homeless-helpless California stars, and send it tomorrow. On the gossip/paparazzi trail, Mr. Bruce got a close look at one of my good kind of problems. Thunderstruck, he was. Me? A bona fide hot date? Like this: "Uh, how much is their royalty check? Really? Could he...or she...uh, like, sign one of my albums when the police get off their asses and get my albums back?" Mister excitement talked to himself thusly: "Why isn't she in the movies? Oh, maybe that's why she's....."


See 'ya,
V