Not Yet a Powerpoint Presentation (in court)

This is the president's microphone.

This was my microphone when I built a radio station in my parents' basement. (On MELANIE STREET. Just ask a question, spies, and stop your coughing, sniffing, leg pumping, scratching, "signing," and foot twirling, before I.....). DNA test? Are you out of your mind? A U-Tube of grandpa saying what? They get way too excited about this sort of Bill Hughes/William Hughes/WILLIAM V discovery. Got a dead lawyer to consult? [that's a joke, son].

This is the microphone that got me elcted president, same year George McGovern did not. I tried to help the Senator by stuffing envelopes and getting in deep 17 year-old doo-doo. Something about a full-page ad. Media here yet, Peter? Senator McGovern and I talked it over at length in 1985. Yes, we did! Aviator sunglasses indoors again, boys? I always thought, to paraphase maybe real Agent Clark, "That's kinda weird."

This is the O-Fish-Haul Callyfornia "Kill a Kennedy" mike, and is that coffee or blood on it, Google stoogies? I'm "grandiose?" "Power mad?" You just don't get it, do you robo-spy? How about this? Califronia Primary night, 2012.

"Hey! I'm supposed to be dead! Nobody's getting killed here tonight, I guarantee it! Me? President? You gotta be kidding! I've got, as with the Concord cops, 'other things' to do! Got a job? Lost your house? What a flop our first black president was! You want a woman in there? Better get the right one! Did not old mafia say to me, 'Only you can do that.' Somebody took out a Kennedy, and I'm giving you one back! Here's your next president ____________, and don't shoot!!!"

SAME PODIUM
SAME MICROPHONE
SAME HOTEL (Unless it was torn-down, as when I stay in one)
WAY DIFFERENT OUTCOME

*someone is wrecking another pair of headphones in real-time, just like "magic." Guess I gotta get in there and kick your asses. Would she maybe....