?????

Hey JIMMY CARTER, what was on the ground in Atlanta, budeee? Separation? What's that? Why a "stewardess" right next to WILLIAM V? "Put him in the loony bin! That plane was not too close! "Three miles? Who the f--- were you kidding, Jimmy? Land swindler BILL CLINTON, what did the near-death Captian say to the brain-jacked First Officer? "He did it!" Bad Russian joke? Not funny. Me? Know-nothing William thought: a) "Ft. Lauderdale airport isn't too busy." (Dumbass, your TWA murder-suicide flight was the only one to come in that afternoon). "Give credit where credit is due" however, because; b) I also thought, "What is that damn spy doing looking at me from the Hertz desk." Now, I know a girl who boinked O.J. See how "they" let you get even? Guilty or not, that footbal star? Just call me "Bill Colby," but please don't drown my ass and make up a story. Did Clinton have to nearly hit my 323 with Air Force One? I'm "nuts?" I'm lying? How many cops were out there? Case closed. How about that "W" fellow? His dog is pooping on the neighbor's lawn? George W. goes out there and picks it up? Is AARP Magazine, one of my "secret" sources, telling the truth, or talking that blasted "spy talk?" Okay girls, start lying! "He did not get close enough to hit our "he hung Saddam" godhead with a rock--easy. Yes, I did. Well, I saw the shoulders and arms of [REDACTED BY KOVAL'S KOPS, BECAUSE I TOLD ANDREA 2.0 THIS STORY ALREADY, AND WE COULD DISCLOSE STUFF TO "TERRORISTS" THEY ALREADY KNOW] JOHN KERRY, I have issues with you, because stopping the bus was rude. Since then I've read, though I don't get out much, and the CRPD is mighty "hinke" or is that Hinckley, about these computers, that JOHN EDWARDS had sex with a "witch," and Kerry stands accused of Monica-Bill activities outside of Holy Matrimony, but I don't have Germantown Road working for me yet, so I really would not know about such things {color change due to hackers, when I just complained to the FBI? Lawless! Rogue state! Breakaway Cafe/Beakaway Republic? Thank's for the hint, Debbie. Is "Cal" dead yet?}.

They can't beat the memory, and why try? How about that "message" from August, 1969? There goes the guy with the Uzi...I looked up at the CBS building...snipers!...way cool!...Dick! It's Dick! There he is!...look behind the car...more guys with attache cases...so f^ching cool!...and, there's a guy with an Air Force uniform...and he's got one...CHAINED TO HIS WRIST...uh, oh...damn...guys are in the way...look at barricade...see their backs walking in slo-mo....it's...the...damn FOOTBALL...way too close, I hasten to add. Does TIME WARNER perhaps run the HISTORY CHANNEL? May I surf over to plan more litigation? What do we have to take out of the "Football" in order to safely toss it over the side of you-know-what boat? ESP/STP--be scared flyin' triangle chasers---there she goes!!!!!  


Thanks, Dick. And, wait until America hears my better every day NIXON impression. To wit:


"How can that god**mn Hughes be getting a f***ing thing done out of a shopping cart! He didn't know shit! This is impossible! Just like that son of a bitch Howard! What is it with those people? Get the FBI Director on the phone! Jesus! They're like ghosts! Vampires! Put more people in there! Can't the sheriff toss him in the can for breathing? They tried that? Jesus! He was where? The Boston water supply? What the f*** does that have to do with anything? What? You've got to be kidding? NO! It can't be! Aw, Jesus, get the GOP Chairman on the horn! They can't do that! Hey, I'm kinda liberal on social issues, but that's just not okay. I fought commies for real and shit. Them? Oh, no! Get a good hatchet man out there! That can't happen! What? I'm dead? What the hell are you talking about? Get me some Demerol. Valium? What's that new stuff? Xanax? Don't just stand there...get me some! I am the goddamn president!"

U.S. ARMY, THIS COMMERCIAL IS FOR YOU, AND IS MY OLD JAG NEIGHBOR IN JAIL YET? CIVIL WAR YOU SAY? I DIDN'T START IT. FOR DETAILS, ASK THE GUYS WHO RESIGNED FROM THE REAL C.I.A. IN 2004 & 2005.

FADE IN:

INT. AIRPORT LOUNGE- DAY

Hughes sits reading People Magazine, obscuring his face.

ANNOUNCER

Revolutions! Insurrections! Assassinations! Murders! Top Secret Information! Sensitive and Compartmentalized! Lives in the balance! Surely, he has secret sources and methods!

Hughes lowers the magazine.

HUGHES

No, just People Magazine.

CUT TO:

INSERT: HUGHES-WATERGIRL 2012

FADE TO BLACK