Time Warner? Try Terrorists--They Are Real--They Like Your Church

Here it comes. Who called in sick? Who jumped over the wall? We're still looking for Osama? For cryin' out loud! What did the ex-cop say when I said I'd tell the truth? "You're gonna get your ass killed." What did I, William Charles Hughes, reply? "I know," and then I strolled to another quadrant of the Goebel Senior Adult Center patio, as I often do when I'm pissed-off. Poor, poor, pitiful me, and "funnyface?"


It's political love at first byte. Have you caught enough spies yet? Does anyone care? May I go renew my library card at the Truman Presidential Library? It is in Missouri. It is not illegal; I'm sure of it. They will get impatient. The old librarian who knew Harry, and denied any hanky-panky, may die on me. Yes, I asked her, and she was flattered, not insulted. Spies, don't try and change the story around.


"No Fly Zone?" Am I caught in a time warp? A downed F-15E? Looked like a bunch of crap from a Tripoli garage, soldier. Airmen saved by "rebels?" I'm so glad I saw some old RFK commercials, complete with the beep..beep..beep intro. This isn't the right way to run for president, but it's all I got at the moment. Hey big dog, got any money? Yeah, m-o-n-e-y.


three, two, one....


EXT. AMERICAN BALLPARK - DAY

VENDOR

Scorecard! Got another war! Get yer scorecard!

SOBER ANNOUNCER

Barack Obama promised peace. Prosperity. Gitmo? Still open. Iraq? We're still there. Afghanistan? Stuck there. Pakistan? A big mess there. Egypt? Sold out out ally, they will say. Libya?

VENDOR

Get yer scorecard! Can't tell a terrorist from a good rebel without a scorecard!

FAT FAN

Hey! Gimmie one of those!

INSERT: Goofiest photo possible of BARACK OBAMA on the Scorecard.

CUT TO:

EXT. AMERICAN BALL PARK - LATER

Seventh Inning Stretch is in progress.

The Fat Fan has about a dozen empty beer cups.

FAT FAN

Beerman! Jeez, I need another cold one. Terrorists? Freedom Fighter? Insurgent? Good rebels, bad rebels? Hey! Hey, beerman!

STADIUM ANNOUNCER

(with echo)

Now pitching for Egypt, number thirty eight, some general who is not named Mubarek.

FADE TO BLACK

HUGHES 2012