New Torture Methods--This Fall On Fox

Out scaring the citizenry? When I say "zero defense budget" with a bunch of old-fashioned microphones present, I'm not kidding. Or stoned. Or drunk. Or "bipolar." Here comes the alleged "hedging." You may have your little "death ray" that is already funded. Far be it from a potential President Hughes to cut you #ssholes off so rudely. No freshly-minted money shall be the "real deal." Long Beach, brace for layoffs, like everybody else.

It wasn't quite like the pic above, but in 1971 I thought, "Where did all of these people come from? Grandma must have had a lot of friends." As for the "other" grandma, I thought, "Why did they blow this much money on a funeral?" Guess I conveniently forgot about the George H.W. Bush signature where I said, "It doesn't look like a stamp. Doesn't look like a secretary signed it."

More "creatures" bothering the candidate? "911" is the number; plus, I've got 50 cents for the CHP seven-digit 805 number. FBI? Why would I call them, when I intend to get elected president and fire their worthless asses?

So instructive, that Q&A:

Q: "Why did William V transport that grandma to all of her glaucoma-related appointments?"
A: "Contact the ISS."


Q: "Why did Charles--not the Prince of Wales--have so much trouble at the eye doctor?"
A: "Contact the ISS."

Q: "Why did I have a burning left eye on Sunday, March 6, 2011?"
A: "Contact 'MIKE McADAM'."

Q: "Why did I have blurred vision on Sunday, March 6, 2011?"
A: "I am a drunk, like your legendary 'Bobby,' but you may still benefit from contacting the ISS."

Q: "Why did I have double-vision on Sunday, March 6, 2011?"
A: "Contact the ISS, and the boys from Ayres Hall."

Notes
LCII, have you succeeded in contacting Idi Amin's relatives?
LCI? Girls, I'd lock-up that yearbook, if I were you.
Skull & Bones we're not, however, are there cops posted in front of Butler Library?
Not yet?