THIS IS NOT "The President's Analyst," IT IS REAL, MEANING, DEAF SPIES, The Guy is Nuts, and I Am Not

As Lyndon Johnson once said, it is with a "heavy heart" that I have to stoop to asking publicly for transportation to attempt the removal of the President & Vice President of the United States. No AK-47's or M-16's required.

That said, I, William Charles Michael Hughes am now a haemophiliac, because my shaving cut won't stop bleeding. This is, I allege, a bad Royal joke, because did you flunk-out to sell meth, or do you know of the kings with this genetic problem?

Evil people--yes they are human--can control your bodily functions from afar. Not that difficult in the 21st Century. [Pardon me, as I continue to dab the shaving cut that will not stop bleeding, and I am not calling AMR, my new EMS company, after I get to a damn courthouse].

Eyes crossed? "They" can do that, too. Oh, the life forms I call the "rodents" were so excited yesterday in the Goebel Senior Adult Center Computer Lab, because there I sat listening to KSHE in Saint, Louis, Missouri, WGBH in Boston, Massachusetts, and by chance--100% random--the Air Traffic Control Tower in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Microsoft Word 2007 was open as well. "Multitasking," William? Not really, as I was primarily working on a letter to a former president's daughter to try and seal a political "marriage," thereby changing the world and all that good liberal stuff.

What did I hear and thought to myself, "What a bunch of malarkey, why are they doing that, and dropped it--in my own mind, at least? ATC directives to Air Force One. I ignored it, but the room full of vermin who can somehow hear what is coming through my headphones were rivited to it. A check of the South Florida newspapers no longer read on paper much did not give up whether the {September 11, 2001 manifest, please...I'm waiting} #1 airplane that almost hit my Mazda was at the Ft. Lau airport or not, but I smell .mil base, and they fooled you again, but not me.

Nonetheless, I can use big-time spy "double talk" too, and say it may be the ATC QUOTE OF THE YEAR:

"Air Force One, full stop."

I heard it. Is my nose bleeding for no reason yet?

TO THE PHOTOS!

Barack. He's the president. I'm Howard's grandson.

Grandpa Howard's missile.

Drive safely.

SSI People, Take Your Medication, Please

ii

 grandma did it.

 K practices escaping the inevitable assassins.

Where's That Damn Russian Mailman?

It's a Hillmount nurse with a headache, after William V is treated to a hotel room and writes you all up. However, at this point, a spot on the floor at your average Thousand Oaks Drug House would do. I'm the 132/Cert/5150 Man. Me? Nuts? Don't you know how it works? When the real "they" want you to do certain things, I couldn't buy my way into 5351 Delmar. Nope.

Another oxymoron! Who's writing the jokes when I show up a la Bush in Afghanistan dressed in an old golfing outfit like Bob Hope? May I say my own line? "Where the hell am I?" And, "What the *uck are you all doing here?"

"The Troops" will love it! Or, open fire. I'll take my chances, drugboy.

"Psy_Op?" Don't Think So, as Someone Said, "They're getting scared."

Dear m&m's (military and mafia):

Better work for me, not agin me, because soldier, I will indeed set up the scaffolding for your hanging on the White House lawn, and as anyone who has the accurate file on me knows, I'll help erect it. The "New Frontier Hands-On President?" Not ready? First, get out of my way. Next, go ahead and shoot at me.

"Let's Kill Him at Starbucks"; "Let's Kill Him at Carl's Jr."; "Let's Kill Him at McDonald's" zzzzzzz...huh? what?

Hey, Coast to Coast AM fans! Don't miss the Royal wedding, and Hughes, who is from that outer-ring planet "we" just know is there, ZOLTAR, will take us.

Doesn't she look lovely? Who needs her rotten son and that shameless tart?

"Fifty one fifty time. He's just like his crazy dad and grandpa."

"Hmmm...I'll chase-off the press, fly this thing a bit, and that camera is set up to film it, then, I'll go to Washinhgton, get in front of that damn committee, and tell those Senators from the deep south where to stick it."

Panetta at DOD? That's Desperate, Man.

"Mister Underwood" at the MISSOURI DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES? Sand bagging in Jeff City, are you? Almost run off the road by two cops (sheriff?), and I wondered why. Followed by the local cops, and I fgured the police report on Modine Manufacturing was why. Don't you all love your country? You don't go pay for police reports on murder-suicide? Not a writer? Try it, and se how "free" you really are.

They love the drama! Like a Bond movie! So exciting! So...stupid. The rap? "There really is a green sign that says "CIA" on I-270. Nothing at the end of the ramp. Just a stop sign. No gas station. No seven eleven. Go right, and you in Langley, Virginia. Make a left, and you are at my place, HUGHES NETWORK SYSTEMS. They let me wander around and take photographs. No kooky security car or cops, like in 'T.O.' No, nobody changed my name...no, you cannot have a cig. I'll get rollies later....."

Under arrest yet? Not yet?

Who's backstage? Hughes is engaging in Thousand Oaks "spy talk?" What? Sir, I can Navymumble, too. Aunt Kathleen taught me that, in about second grade, sir. They shot and killed a president that year. Most rich kids in Chinafornia don't even know his name. "I was born in nineteen ninety," they say, as if that is an excuse. Sir, I still knew who Teddy Roosevelt was in 1969. And, if I am elected Commander in Chief, I may well act like him, because I'd be the boss, sir. And, I might hire you back. I might not.

READY? "I'm gonna take that one, 'cause I haven't seen the other one lately. That's the last one. Yep, we got 'em all, except him. I'll get that *ucker. He's gone. He got a hole in his head.

"he" has been maybe thrashed by Mister Hughes, and I am not calling the cops.Oh, so now you are all what the locals call a "Cop Caller?" I see.

[pardon me LEE ENTERPRISES OR GOOGLE, won't let me have a photo of a cop]

My pals at the Kansas City Star to the rescue, leading to the former or--no time to check--TOM FINKEL edited Riverfromt Times (RFT). The joke was going to be, "I know the female cop on the right, because I really worked with the cops a lot, palefaced Illuminati & Germans.As you can see, the Star gave me a totally unrelated photo, after the suddenly worried about copyright when I have no rights Post-Dispatch would not let me post the photo of TARA LINTZ. ("Tara"=Paul's dog, and the 1000 Oaks Lap dance Girl "Tara," who was inded on Baywatch, did not get me housing, and yes, the cops were watching the lap dance. Why? Oh Jerry Brown! Why?) "Lintz"= the dryer lint fisco at PAUL TURNER'S BUG HOUSE (911 St. Rita), and when is that runt being arrested?

Ready for this kooky Christians?

RFT is dismising claims a murderer was tossing a football with former Ram KURT WARNER with joking references to a "grassy knoll." Big set up? I don't fall for them, creeps, but maybe Mr. Warner did, becuase when I was inexplicably searched by Thousand Oaks, California "fake cops" the veteran "actor" cop wanted to talk about who? KURT WARNER. Got a John Dean photo, anyone?

Hey Saint Louis! You want the solid siren, or the wailing pattern? How about I drive up to the Eagleton Federal Courthouse in a leased Impala with a few intelligent helpers?

 “We do not have time for this kind of silliness … I've got better stuff to do." So do I, sir.

May I Pop Some Popcorn, Brain-Jacked National Socialists?

The CRPD kooks loved my photos that did not mean anything, right Mr. Kaufman? A Shell station? An oil tanker? The "T.O." standard for cops & crooks alike is, "If I did not see it, it did not happen, and if it did, I don't care."

Next Commission meeting? The one after that, it's FBI, CHP, and a few of my friendly DEPUTIES, and sir, I just don't need a lawyer, but I'd like to have one to file lawsuits. STAPLES? Try "Hughes Books and Sound Recordings." SAFEWAY, formerly not so safe? "Hughes Market," and I am not talking "spy swap" talk. AMR? What am I going to do with an ambulance company that abducts? They tried that in Franklin County, Missouri, and I put a stop to it, with Judge Murray's help. Terrorists, it helps to have the judiciary on your side, and you surely don't.

Nice. Where are my family photo albums, Mr. Trump? How long ago did your guy perform the Cali-fornia "check-out?" I knew what the big mafia ass was doing. It was around the same time Peterson (HUGHES AIRCRAFT) and what's his name from my (MCDONNEL DOUGLAS) Missile Division came to chat. Oh, I'm "nuts?" I'm your next president if Starship Troopers isn't a real concept, thanks to "Black Ju-Ju Tech."


Let "us" give "The Donald" a 1000 Oaks young & restless Mafia slide show on the consequences of governance by mafia(s)!

Two were supposed to be in a screenplay. Oops! Hello, China!

Hurry, hurry, hurry! My U.K., so slow!

"God damn it! Hard landing! Gurl, what did I do wrong? I want my other jet! Now!"

Hey Donald! The Soviet Union never broke-up! What an unsurprising development for the Hughes boy. What are they doing here? I have no idea, sir.

"Jeez. They really loaded this baby up. Where am I going?"

"Oh, that's right. That fucking hospital where they can't put an IV in right." 

Five...four...three...two...one..and...Mister Trump, what's on my rocket besides that GoogleSat? I have no idea.

"Yeeha! That damn Obama. Don't like the guy, but the library didn't even have his books! What an outrage! He's the president, after all. Huh? No, I don't want an alternate target! That wicked library! Can you hear me!? Does this radio work? No matter, these nav things...hey! Knock it off! Oh, these borgies! Damn robots! CLICK_CLICK. Dano, what the hell is wrong? I tried that. I tried that, too."

Who Was Baker?

Wake-up! Hughes is en route!

k, does this freaking blog go anywhere? Know what "Tony" said during the LUTHERAN SS torture program disguised as a homeless "services?" He said, "The Kennedy's own Chevron." This was in response to my story about the little Newbury Park automatons asking, "Where does your money come from?" Son, we don't ask that sort of question in Saint Louis, Missouri. I came to call them the "Eight dollar an hour secret police."

In point of fact, when I tried to shave quick in the Chevron, after spending the night in 1000 Oaks' "Almost 24 Hour Donut Shop," where the Vietnamese donut lady took my Liberty Bell postage stamps for donuts, and the Chinese man said--*uck you drug dealers, I'm saying/writing it, because don't 'ya get it? I AM THE BEST CANDIDATE USA HAS, AND DO NOT STARE AT THE RALPH'S CART, OR ME, PLEASE. He said, "A-plus performance. Good job. Now get out of here, and don't come back." What happened next is between oh so in prison "Admiral Mercury" and me, William Hughes. Going peaceably, or is it civil war, sir? Did the Chevron clerk--an oh so POWERFUL minimum wage twit--utter the motto for sick-o Chinafornia? Yep. It is, "Get out." I intend to say it in the Oval Office a lot, and do not let the door hit your .mil butt on the way out.

Civil war in the U.K.? Ireland in the economic drunk tank. "Sneaky" Civil war in the U.S.? What really got 'em stirred-up? Oil? By the time I get hold of my rigs, we won't need the crap anymore. Hold on, fans, and people with the Thousand Oaks punk/drunk/tweeker "cryptic comment," which a few moments ago was, "He needs a hole in him." Teenagers? Your parenting sucks. The HUGHES RESPONSE? "Wanna die in a plane crash, you idiot?" Pardon me, I think I wrote this in pencil last night for the "We see through your eyes" crowd of gene-jacked mutant palefaces.

After what I call a "robust round of where is it? where is it? where is it?" I found it. Hmm...it's mixed in with the best King-thing story I could give you, and it's TRUE. I get "Kate" Hudson? Don't think so. Edit fast. What was that plane already crashed line I've got to find?

"Delta, go around." Today?

TOWER: "Captain, you need to move that aircraft off the runway. Stopping is not an option."
CAPTAIN: "Roger."

Maple Leaf Story later! Here's the "other half."
__________

"I had a few moments of fun among the torture and misery, I'll confess. Allow me, as I'd like to share. Let me guess. It's the .ru version of U-tube. It's some MIG's? I'll look it up later. Here I come in my 206.7 million dollar a copy airplane. Flares, not missiles? Toast! And I'm sitting you know where laughing as the MIG guy figures, 'I'm dead, but I'll show 'em. I'll get away.' What's the latest rumor now? I'm on what drug? No, may I chuckle at the latest "heads-up" display? [Post-it note: It's his human head...ha, ha! Still works!] Nah, it's no new gizmo from NORTHRUP GRUMMAN, EADS, GENERAL DYNAMICS, MARTIN MARIETTA, LOCKHEED MARTIN, or mostly mine BOEING. There was the guy flying sideways over very blue ocean and looking up, like, "Where'd he go?" It's another high level joke--I think. ["We're getting towed-in," says kaput Jet Blue 624 in real-time. Dead battery, sir? Call the aviation AAA].

More cockpit cam! And please don't "Call the cops" if I appear to be enjoying it too much. You've got the real one on your hands. Already knew how to make the movie? One dogfight video, and he's got a critique for the fighter jock? Yeah, so I'll be rude. NASA, who's on the ISS? Might as well talk, given you are as good as shuttered."

[Since writing this, I've discovered the young ones in my planes like that good old rock 'n roll, or at least they put it in the video soundtrack. No wonder BobGates cancelled those USA planes. You could work at Office Depot. Carl's Jr. McDonald's. Temp service, perhaps? Oh, Hughes is so in jail! For figuring out how the Typhoon does what it does from open sources? Are you nuts? I am not. Got a few trillion pounds sterling? Didn't think so. To the Maple Leaf story! May I have a cup of Joe? What did V.L. say too long ago? "I don't have time to take a shit!"]

Who Needs Money To Run For President? (what do "they" want on Facebook? My Space? may I run the old way, please? (cars, cops, big parade, etc.)

Laura, it's that big? Wow!

 Never elected to anything. Where does he build hotels? not in the USA, baby!

When you--and you are not me, nor should you want to be, unless totally nuts--ahem, ahem, no, when I open an NTSB report, and the Adobe view is 105%, now "we" are getting somewhere. [If only "they" would tell me who "we" are]. And, if I find the time, we'll get into PAN AM 103, before the Pentygon sells you a bag of recycled Libyan crap, not that I am a big...what's his name? The dictator fellow.

UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT 585, the doctor will see you next. Why did I think this one was in Detroit? I was listening to my trusty SONY AM/FM radio on top of the 11019 refrigerator. Charlie's GE, which he said had, "Good, full sound," had gone to his bedroom for the occasional visit. "How does an airliner go nose down on a normal approach?" Did I think these thoughts because I was/am nuts? No it's Howie's grandson, and many are in deep doo-doo, not me.


LET'S GET POLITICAL!

Was that China disliking tribal looking woman from...? No spitting in the trash can allowed! Andrea! Andrea!

TRUMP-INGRAHAM V. HUGHES-KENNEDY?
No one has even served as a small-town mayor! Let us map it out.
No, it's not a Laura v. Caroline hair-pull. It's the ideologues, HUGHES & INGRAHAM smoking cigs in bed after [CENSORED], while the big names say stuff like:

"Donald, that's just not your hair. William's hair is real. And not even receding."

TINK-TINK will go the fancy NYC hotel tea cups, and Mr.Trump, I predict, will say,

Who gives a rat's ass what he has to say? Join the new world disorder, where every dope with illegal drugs and what I derisively call a "device" has got a blog, a tweet, a twitter, a digg, a poorly-informed opinion, yet I am living the rest of my life in the drugboy/gayboy/abduction & murder park? Sorry, gotta go.
BACK IN BED WITH LAURA
"Ingraham, this hotel coffee sucks. Let's go to Starbucks and argue. Nobody will recognize us."

Our so fired if I win FBI cares about the modem? Hack, hack, hack on the google server, I guess--I would not know.

Not All Bad

What is he doing? What's he doing? [presently, I am removing the "ii" characters I did not type--possibly a reference to my unpurchased, not in pre or post production, not at the theatre, not in the DVD bin screenplay titled II] Now, Illuminati palefaces, I am watching videos of the Mirage. It is a French warplane. Is that okay with you? What did the man say for my "Daily Hint?" He said, "You've got your hands full."

What's that address?

ministers@hm-treasury.gov.uk

May I listen to the Fed's unprecedented press conference? I passed the Big Ten, now Big Twelve Macroeconomics class. It was hard. I got A's & B's. Face facts, before I wind up and kick your...

Another Dimension

Chinese kids? That's not funny!

"You're all set," they said in Concord, New Hampshire. Gardner, you have a problem already. NO CRIMES. NO SPYING. NO NAVY BLACKMAIL ON ME. [either one, ho! ho!] AND, HOW MANY MURDER ATTEMPTS ON ME? Did you say "poison?" Got plenty 'o samples. What was that crap? The CSI crew is tardy. I gotta what? Get elected to what?   

HUGHES WINS NEW HAMPSHIRE!

HUGHES WINS SOUTH CAROLINA!

HUGHES WINS FLORIDA!

POP--POP--POP "Down! Everybody down! Where's that *ocksucker? Gimme one of those guns! Aw, c'mon! Why not?"

INT. BJC BEHAVIORAL - NIGHT

A distressed woman runs up to MR. HUGHES.

WOMAN

Help! Some guy just hit me in the head!

HUGHES

Who are you?

RACHEL

Rachel Cowan.

HUGHES

I'm calling 911.

RACHEL

No, don't bother.

HUGHES

Why not?

RACHEL

I asked the witnesses in the waiting room. No one will talk. They're acting like it didn't happen.

Hughes makes a bee-line to the deaf & mute.

HUGHES

Somebody hit this woman? Where'd he go?

Three IDIOTS sit silently.

RACHEL

He ran out the door.

HUGHES

What's wrong with these people? Sir, I need your name.

SILENCE

Hughes goes to a telephone. Calls 911.

Later, police in blue arrive.

HUGHES

This is our friendly Saint Louis policeman in blue. He will help unstick your tongues, because I have to do an Incident Report.

POLICEMAN

Folks, we've got an assult here. The social worker needs your names.

Don't know about you, but E.T. is bringing me lunch tomorrow, right? No? Hmmm. May I call Jerry's office and tell him the cart march is getting too famous, and I really could open a bank account in Missourah, then when all at COMMERCE BANK are in jail, Marita and I (she's the other Kennedy) can go to Alice's place and.....

Have any governments fallen lately? Besides ours, that is. Or, should I call it "yours." I don't get out much, girls. I can keep a secret. Sure I can.

Not really.

"Interstate Eighty is closed. Do not go there. Repeating, Interstate Eighty is closed."

Delta Blues

PhotoShopKaufman.net, and add snow. Those big hoses. "Goddamn it, why are they still at it? I've got a meeting in Saint Louis at nine. Shit! I've never seen this before. Why so long?" [THE KING IS ON THE AIRPLANE, DUMBASS] He was sitting, per usual, right in front of that flag on the engine depicted above. Thoughts anyone? Free. Fun. "Airline coffee sucks. It's instant, and they act like it's not. Why are they out there so long? Oh well, it is cold. Snowed a little. Why was my hotel full of hookers? Too bad it was a business trip. [ROLL OUT--finally]. It looks clear. I don't see any ice. Hummmmm...nose up. Butt vibrating. Chicago sucks. It really does."      

Pardon me, the pic disappeared, but thus far the real Hughes has not. Back in a minute...Ah, there it is. Though I do not spy, a birdie told me that "Ned" my old boss, who was outraged at how my HUGHES AIRCRAFT V.P. "under cover" at EDWARD D. JONES, now just JONES, fired my ass for trying to make a crappy 1977 modem and piece of garbage computer work right. I also brought a legendary piece of AstroTurf to Ruther-ford for a "black guy." Who's the president? (Oops, my joke is catching fire. The line? "I dunno, some black guy." This is legal. Yes it is.)

Oh my Lord, the balloons are falling on me & you-know-who in Charlote already, when MissionTeddy80 failed [no big Orwellian screen, thousands of little ones, like high finace chieftans], but I am merely a homeless/helpless/bipolar, though the mental ward nurse hung up on me long ago, and the police car has driven away...maybe 15 or 16 times. I lost count. It's "Charlie Tuna" time [a 1960's joke, punks], and while I will not try to obtain a free cot, as do many for a change of MI [mentally ill/military{oxymoron} intelligence/or both] pace, one more stalking "close encounter" and I just might...

As some sort of malevolent force and I battle in real-time, RACHEL COWAN has informed me no "legal action" can take place until I submit a report I am not submitting without:
a) A private investigator discovering all of your *ucking NAMES...the one you are using now, the last one, the one before that...etc. etc. etc.
b) An atorney at law, like Caroline Kennedy, J.D. from Columbia University Law School, is ready to assist. Columbia? The Three Stooges shorts are on Columbia. The space shuttle that I do not think crashed was/is named Columbia. I had a drinking buddy-girl in Columbia, Missouri named "Julie." I did not sell any drugs while functioning as the rock & roll soundman for CHILDREN, in Columbia, and pray tell, Dan & Mike, where is the "Hairy Jew?" {FBC "secret code"} Hey cia, what was Julie's last name? A spouse she could have been, drinking me under the table like that out of STEPHENS COLLEGE, but...did you say lesbian? They did it again! Ask RICH HALL! I can look up the Jew's name on a PAVLOV'S DOG album jacket.
c) MONEY. Did you know a spy once said I should be on Mt. Rushmore? After I get out of "T.O." start carving mother#ucker! Need a thousand dollar bill again, Drugboy/Thugboy? ($1,000) Look for my face on it, as a convenience to your coke follies, because even a President Hughes probably can't kill or capture all of you a-holes. Me? Sell drugs? Where is the Department of Justice balcony all "secret court" {another .gov oxymoron} files are getting dumped off for a hoard of hungry reporters? Dunno. Not yet.
d) "We" send a letter to the FBI, like they send to rich folks only, that esssentially says, "Get ready to be locked-up." Oh, the non-transition period!"

K: "They are going nuts.They want to talk to you."
H: "Fuck 'em."

[It's DELTA 181. He's on the case! When will I disclose the Lockerbie culprit? As DUB CROUCH--grandma's MINNNESOTA Street grocer--said often, "Make sure that mike is nice and hot." What did Delta do to me on the way to ChiTown?
1). No separation. Aviation lights in my window seat eyes.
2). Stewardess hag right next to me, in case I whined. To the loony bin!
Let's review, scummy United States Navy:
--ST. VINCENT'S? They got ZACHRITZ, MARGHERITA, & TAYON, but not me.
--MENDOTA MENTAL HEALTH CENTER? I allowed their shoulda never been discharged by Test & Stein schizophrenics to sleep in my driveway, but the kooky hives took my vocal cords when at a spooky M.D.'s office. To Gayle I said, "I think the government did this to me." Right! He was right! {What was that twitter/tweet-tweet/facebook crap in Egypt? I would not know about that, Michelle}
--WILLARD PSYCHIATRIC CENTER? Okay, I confess. In The Rainbow Rebellion, when "PETE" runs to the diner, that really happened to me. I made-up the rest, like FEMA, and...you know what I'm talking about. That screenplay plot was the first time I put a spy to sleep. In the desert in 2008, they were sleeping everywhere near my MOTEL 6. I kinda knew what it meant. Didn't I tell the story of the Secret Service polo shirt dispersing a gang of thugs? They saw it. So did I. Gas was $4.79 for 87 octane. I have two wrecked cars now, so I don't care about it {I'm practicing lies--like Bill Clinton's} how am I doing?
--MBMHC? How about that story last night for free? Poor Dr. L kicked in the gut! Then, another fight! LCSW Hughes, said, "Why did she aggavate her? I backed off, because she's the *ucking doctor!" Aw, for chissakes...on three! [that was the last time they accused me of not helping enough with kung foo fighting] Down went a six foot two fat girl who wanted to fight. Madness in the madhouse. Three fights on THREE EAST! Oh? Rumble, rumble, bitch, bitch? I looked over my shoulder from the floor with one of my patented killer looks, and nonverbally told one of Patrick's sociopaths, "If you start some shit, we've lost control of the ward, so I might just break the rules and, as Buckley said to Vidal in 1968, "Plaster your ass." He backed off, we had a big non-investigation, and Eve quit.
Laura! Laura! Oh, Dr. Laura! Please come drop another ear ring in your short skirt!

Finish The Damn Story, Will 'Ya?

"Time for the chili cook-off, eh? Ha, ha! This ain't Chuck Yeager c_cksucker!"

Okay, did you say, DELTA? Oh, I wrote it down someplace...just a minute. Brain jacked! Where is it, where is it, where is it? Crap, First Officer Kennedy! Let's do something else, like not crash the usa, because when I wrote down, "Detroit was a DC-9, not a 737," IT HAS "DISAPPEARED." Before my mentally ill self "diverts" to Tenerife, or Japan Air 123...let's go instead to HUGHES AIRCRAFT/DAVID COPPERFIELD with the mandatory two 1000 Oaks witnesses in my very own "Gang of 3."

GOT A CIG? GOT A LIGHT? (a pathetic civilian one-act play)

ANDREA CANNING

Did they buy you cigs?

HUGHES

Yes.

ANDREA CANNING

What was the, uh, guard's overhead?

HUGHES

Two to Darrel, the Great Darrel, two to a stranger as a consequence of a Ralph's lot cig jacking.

ANDREA CANNING

How many did you smoke?

HUGHES

Six.

ANDREA CANNING

How many left after that weekend?

HUGHES

Five.

ANDREA CANNING

Where'd the rest go?

HUGHES

Ben 3.0 smoked them.

ANDREA CANNING

Who is he?

HUGHES

A poet.

ANDREA CANNING

We have a report you, ah, drank some...

HUGHES

Now listen to me, you [BLEEP]. I have ditched the mafia, and intend on ordering a pint in Dublin, where they are the most bankrupt of my EU gonna kick usa's butt nations, and say, "Hey! I was born in Saint Louis! How the *uck did that happen?" "Here, here" they will say, you lousy Disney [BLEEP], tell us the one about the gold lighter! C'mon!" Alright, I will say, and what a bunch of lackluster bastard descendants of James Joyce you all are! I was blessed with a whole pack of Marlboro Res one hundreds, and.....

Slow Ride/Slow Slide

This may be my best free story of all. I can read minds? No. However, the look on your face, or as we said in the old neighborhood, "Check the face!" is how I do it. To the story, Hughes. We are Calimafia, and in a big hurry!


SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE, 1977

"Is this mike on? Oh, Palin's hubby was here? What a thug! Okay, I'll just yell. What? It was Obammy's people? He still has people? Didn't Michelle throw him out? Not yet? Oh, she let him back in? Kinda like Bill and Hillary, but I didn't say that. Don't allege I said that. Rachel, is it ever going to work? I got pipes."

GET TO THE STORY--WE HAVE TO PEE REAL BAD!!!

"Okay, when I traveled in the future EU on my "black op" trip [i was not cia training @ Ft. Belvior, but I looked at it from the Interstate] to England, The Netherlands, Luxembourg, France, Switzerland, Spain, and I might have been in Italy for a minute, because maybe I slept through the "Papers, please," routine--a practice we are going to start in the U.S. if I win, I took not of a great many CANADIAN FLAGS. Finally, I got sufficiently irritated at being practically surrounded by Maple Leaf<dry, unproductive cough, cough?> 


bye, bye

True Psy-Op Confessions

 

This is the first .mil type aircraft I wanted to fly. It was during "The Great Psy-Op of 1988-89." See the big fanjets? It kills tanks. Who was Howard Hughes? Had a bit too much "cuckoo dish" today, old-timer? Due to the negro lady who put meth on my coffee beans [only CEH clue? "You make your coffee too strong! yech! Too strong!] I also said stuff like, "Take out that grid right there, and the airport is dark. What's in that truck? I know what's in that truck!' [Now, they park 'em behind Ralph's. I did not order this; I just know more than you think--always].

Next slide, please.

These guys are with the Royal Air Force (RAF). While the USAF's "E.T. Chasers" were blatantly torturing William V (that's me, and I'm doing the 5150's around here, sir) they were riding their bikes around the English countryside laughing at the whole USA mess. Oh, that Royal Navy boat with only one cannon! What is that electronic "stuff," sailors? The real king knows what it is!

A what? Never mind, next slide please.

Not the "Craziest" .blogspot Blog--Not by a Long Shot

Much like "Margaret the German Terrorist," let us try a simple slide show, like the one "they" were and still are so excited about. Yes, I went to a Netherlands hash bar with an Israeli Army girl. And, Mr. Kook/Ms. Illuminati, how did STEVE RUTHERFORD change that story?
HUGHES HISTORY QUIZ
Q: "Who won WWII?"
A: "The Nazis."
"We" know about K. "We" know you have shortened the letter a lot. Hey, *uckface, how about one word...HELP!!!

Excuse me, my "Bipolar Affective Disorder" (BAD) is flaring up after a good night of sleep, and I am hungry, but I'm perfectly rational and working on this damn blog instead of eating lunch at the Go Bell. Could you get a clinical fact from the DSM-IV before I give Rachel Cowan my feedback on the DSM-5 fuss? Thanks. Hey, the rockers Systematic Chaos are really good. ADD! ADD! He can't pay attention to...lot of airplanes bombed in the 1980's, eh? Who was the presi...
flying monkeys! flying DARPA triangles!
<ahem, ahem>
Back to my little slide show, if I could post a bigger photo file, you could use the Windows Fax and Picture Viewer to see U.S. & U.K. flags on the airplane, an old DOUGLAS C-54. Pocedure; it's all about protocol & procedure. The U.S. flag is first, and even dummy never a Boy Scout or Soldier Boy William knows the star field goes upwind! Yes, drugboy/thugboy, it looks kinda odd, but that is the correct way to display you/mine/our flag. [Where is Betsy from Sibley?{LCI secret code}] With the Union Jack, it does not matter, because it will look the same either way.

Spygirls, let's argue! "That band sucks!" "Screw him, we've got a better clone stashed in Santa Barbara!" "He'll never fly anything! What a wiener! Who's got some good coke?"

Navy can see all of their boats tied-up in Hawaii as the new longhaired POTUS rages, to wit: "What the *uck does the Navy do? Admiral, don't talk yet, or these civilian guys are going to shoot your asses right now!"

I have returned from: www.williamthefifthforpresident.wordpress.com
My open source informants @WGBH {soon closed by order of Army guys in aviator sunglasses} tell me the Kate & Willie nuptuals are nigh. This is fine, if I get my leased Impala and both Jill& Rachel are paid about $80,000 us dollars per year, or until I put my foot in my mouth big-time.

May I register for a free newsletter at InvestmentNews.com
May I continue to breathe, mafia(s)?
There you are on I-5.
There you are on the 101.
"Are you sure that's the right guy?"
"Yes, sir."
"Nobody else is near enough to get hurt?"
"No, sir."
"FIRE!"
[it'll be a hands-on-the-toys commander in chief type thing]

Sheer Genius/Book Proposal (as a bonus, Palin, I really write my own books!)

"We're here at the Cornell Campus Store, with an exclusive on the last time Hughes experienced anything that could be termed "paranoia." His solution to spies, spies, spies, and a big black dude as bodyguard listening to Prince's "Purple Rain" all day? Sources tell us he kinda picked up one of the temporary employees during book rush time, right over by the Crayolas. Something about her assets, whatever that means. The source, which PCP Network considers, like, uh, totally reliable, said he went to a drinking establishment, became intoxicated, but since the temp was driving a beat-up old Toyota, he was again not arrested over bird seed. When they got to 420 W. Buffalo, the woman said, 'My boyfriend is not making me feel like a real woman if 'ya get what I mean,' or something to that effect, and our report, brought to you through HUGHES NETWORK SYSTEMS mind reading, disclosed that Hughes thought, 'Your redneck boyfriend is not beating up my ass after I f--- you silly, so I'm outta here'."

THE PROPOSED TITLE SHOULD BE ENOUGH ASSHOLES, OR I AM ON CIGS & O.J. POLITICAL PRISONER HUNGER STRIKE AFTER THE Chinafornia "Advantage" Card runs out. Do not send the Mental Health Crisis Team. Do not "Call the cops," as your weary of this crap coppers do not care about a trillionaire living out of a grocery store shopping cart. No, Mr./Ms. Illuminati, you forgot to change the law, and they just do not care about Hughes. Could somebody please arrest & prosecute some mafia(s)? Oh, I have to get elected? What did Ms. Gordon say today? Oh DNC, she's correct! "Obama is not getting re-elected. No way!" Reese, I shall keep an eye on my cell phone for their call.

Ready?

Hinckley Was Supposed to Miss

by

William C. Hughes

*as for the photo--you know what photo--of JFK, may I have a hotel room in which to stay on  a new or used laptop as long as me not Jesus pleases, drink complimentary coffee, conspire on how to pay my staff, and not wreck all of the Chevrolet Impalas & Nissan Armadas, like a damn Hollywood movie I am not making.

Jelly beans? Patty Davis? So hot!!!

WB Clue From Charlie Company: "That's all, folks."

I was too young for this one. However, I admired it at the Missouri National Guard post.

"Why is this crap not working? Dick's debacle! I gotta talk to Colonel Dickhead! Dan's gonna fix it? Hey, fellahs, uh, I've, what was GD thinking? Uh, I'll get back....I'll get back to 'ya. Jesus! They're trying to kill my ass!"

Why Did I Not Quit Blogging On March 24, 2011?

Okay, psychos. A "Reality Test" is in order.

REAL ATC
"He's getting out of the way."
"Appreciate your help, sir."
"No problem."

NOT REAL ATC
"Miami, the trees are getting bigger. Did I mention we're on fire?"

Oh, "they" hate the fact it would be like that. Sir William's plane is on fire? Why not call somebody for a view of it from the ground? Gosh, it looks real bad. Are we blowing up yet? Oh, I put that crap around the fuel tanks. Big ones, like grandpa's. How dare some Illuminati nut with "Roswell Toys" try to imitate the sound of my airplane that "we" in the EU need more of. Who are you, sir? WHO STOLE ALL OF THE MONEY? USA? Broke. UK? Broke. IRELAND? Broke.

Oh, they will fight at the Pentygon over who comes to this meeting if I "make it."

FRIDAY
9:00-10:00 a.m. -- Briefing by some faceless .mil spook.
10:00-10:15 a.m. -- Who's Getting Nuked?

The hair ain't going anywhere. There I am, at the head of the table. Arms crossed. "Alright gentlemen. This session never runs long. Who's getting nuked?"
"They've got some crap underground. We don't know what it is."
"They tapped into our undersea cable."
"They wrecked our/your satellite."
"They overthew a guy we liked."
"They shot and killed the reformer guy."
"They blew up the Officer's Club."
"They got a bunch of moles over at {wherever}"
"They put some thang on the moon. We think it's dangerous."

Oh, I am so tired of your endless games. Very few people have this experience. And, I will today say, "Fuck you" to all of the morons who think I am not running for president. Why not, sir? Why not, you cheap whore? What happened? What is he talking about? What does he mean? You all have a stolen screenplay, right? Steal some more of this real-life movie.

EXT. GOEBEL PATIO - NIGHT

SUPER: March, 2010

Hughes lies on the "Special Forces Mike Bench."
He looks up at the stars.

HUGHES

Fuck, it's cold.

He sits up. Hangs his head.

HUGHES

Oh man, this does not look good. It makes sense. They're gonna do it to me.

Hughes gets up and walks around the patio.

HUGHES

Fuck! You can't get out of it. Why do they have an election? They did it to Clinton. I know they did. Who are these guys? Fuck! Doesn't matter.

He looks up at the stars.

HUGHES

Why aren't we out there yet? Why are you doing this to me?

HUGHES (cont'd)

Fuck!

He returns to the bench.

Pulls a blanket over his body.

HUGHES

This is some kinda Navy shit. Can't get out of it.

FADE TO:

  

PALE, ODDLY SHAPED, POSSIBLE OLD NAZI TEST-TUBE "PEOPLE" LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

You will never have this experience, nor will any member of your nutty-assed gene-jacked family. Your poorly disguised mafia crook buddies, likewise will never have this experience. I'm almost sorry I had it after so high a dose of the "Community Torture Program." "It" and "this," as cited above, means your ass is going to the White House as the bossman, and, uh, you'd better think fast. Real fast, given the current "mess." May we leave the "V" thing out of it for awhile? I was born in Missouri/Missourah. Really, I was. Did I quote Obama fan Rachel on Palin? 

"She's crazy!"

Thanks,

Enjoy your weekend, because I won't.  

 

 

Who Is "Margaret?" A German Terrorist

More "inside jokes" I do not need. "Mister Hughes," they will ask, "Why are you running for president?" May I Keep It Simple, Stupid (KISS)? "I need a job."

This one is for you, "Margaret," and all krauts headed to prison.

INT. TELEVISION STUDIO 

It's me, 1000 Oaks thugs, actually running for president, like a grown-up.

HUGHES

Why did Sarah Palin resign as the governor of Alaska?

CUT TO:

INSERT: Clip of Palin talking crazily about the dairy industry.

HUGHES

I'm confused, governor. Why did you quit? What's the real reason?

INSERT: A flurry of "FBI Questioned Palin" news clippings.

CUT TO:

HUGHES

Oh, so that's why you resigned! To end up president, not in prison.

FADE TO:

HUGHES-KENNEDY

"Famous Names, No Games."

FADE TO BLACK

[Dear T.O. Nutcases: May I get my letter in the USPS Mail to the JFK Library? You have to pay for the "I tried to visit her dad's library" story. Perhaps you could help identify the firearm waved at me, before I "Lost them," like in a movie. What did Obama fan Rachel Cowan say? "William, your whole life is like a movie." And, as Chesterfield King smoking BEA BROWN said at Cornell University, "It's money in the bank!"

Buy Frito Lay, and Shit All Day

Do I have to give up the POLAR BEAR BAR/WILLIAMS, CA/PLANO, TX story for free? As I have been trying to tell the local brain-jacked thugocracy, YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THESE STORIES, as with Carter, Reagan, H.W. Bush, Clinton, W. Bush, and the new guy (I forgot his name. It's a black fellow).

seems I am being censored..bye, bye

Oh, I was wrong! Here's the Plano story, in case I die. No, [         ] is getting killed by {Call the cops, Call the cops, Call the cops...it's way of life around here. Poor cops.}

The Polar Bear bar burned down before I got there. The mail did not go anywhere. I don't know why. Ask George W. Bush. "The Arnold" had closed all I-5 northbound exits to Sacramento, so Hughes kept going to WILLIAMS, CA (as with POL SCI prof Delores Williams). During the second night, I was awakened by a sound. IT'S THE EARS DING-DONG NOT A "THIRD EYE!" Can we get some Department of Homeland Security Haldol Wagons out here? Never mind. As I sat up in bed and listened, it was apparent the moron workmen-hitmen from Plano--I noticed your truck--were coming up to my window on an aluminum ladder. 

Timing is everything in counter-spying. Spies, by contrast. spy all of the time. So, I waited patiently until they were outside my window, and let it rip:

"You F8cking ass*les had better get the *uck away from that goddamn window or I'm gonna...!!!" [you can guess the rest] Please make a movie where the actor is far better looking, and only the sound of them going back down the ladder is heard before the 

Cut!

Abductors, when I get a hotel, unlike Howie on the top floor, I'll take the ground floor. Kidnapping? More mature abduction? Bring a wooden ladder, son.