FROM THE ca KOOK WAR ROOM

Who snitched to the proper authorities and got your damn Internet connection working consistently? Hughes! And, I get: a) "He's stinky"; b) "He's crazy"; c) "He can't talk in here"; d) "He can't laugh in here." try... e) "He's the President of the United States, and your SSA defrauding, hacking, lying, spying, killing butt ain't never getting out of the joint." (He can't do that! I know the Kardashian's personally!) HINT HUGHES HAS BEEN IN CALIFORNIA TOO LONG: The proper response is, "You better start dancing, gurl." What did one thugboy say? "You gotta stop talking all ghetto if you are running for president." Thanks. Jill, I'm trying to clean-up the grammar as well.

HUGHES CHANGED A STORY--JUST A LITTLE

INT. SAINT LOUIS BREAD COMPANY - DAY

Hughes walks briskly out the door. Inside, the HOMELAND GIRL is tapping on a laptop.

HUGHES

(thinking)

What is she getting at? That's the third Homeland girl visit.

Hughes rounds a corner onto the parking lot to the west.

A long limousine is parked very close to his Nissan 240SX.
 

HUGHES

Oh shit! I bet Chertoff is in there!


As he approaches the car, the back left limo window rolls down. GEORGE W. BUSH is seen inside brandishing a large handgun.

BUSH

Hey Hughes! You big weenie! Get the hell out of here, before I shoot your ass!

Hughes immediately backpedals, starts fumbling for the key.

HUGHES

Yes sir! I'm, uh, I am outta here, sir!


Hughes jumps in the car. It starts-up and races away. The limo window rolls up.

CUT TO:

INT. NISSAN 240SX - MOMENTS LATER

HUGHES

Oh my God! What the fuck is Bush doing there? Was that Paul Allen? What the hell is going on around here?

CUT TO:

EXT. SAINT LOUIS BREAD COMPANY PARKING LOT - LATER

A black man is holding a thirty eight caliber pistol to the limo back window.

BLACK MAN

Hey! Give it up, asshole!

The limo window rolls down.

Bush fires three shots. The man staggers and goes down.

CUT TO:

EXT. 911 ST. RITA - CONTINUOUS

The Nissan comes to a stop.

HUGHES

Damn! What am I gonna do? I'd better call Ted.

CUT TO:

EXT. SAINT LOUIS BREAD COMPANY PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS

A rotund, black UNIVERSITY CITY POLICE OFFICER stands over the body next to his squad car and address Bush.

BLACK U. CITY COP

Sir, it looks like we got another dead niggah.

BUSH

Thanks.

The limousine exits the lot and drives away down Delmar.

FADE TO:

ALL OF VENTURA COUNTY CALI-FORNIA:

"What really happened?" "How much did he change?" "Was Bush really there?"

ANSWER KEY AVAILABLE AT THE WISCONSIN STATE CAPITOL BUILDING, AS GOVERNOR WALKER APPEARS TO BE CRAZY, AND HUGHES IS NOT. May I run for president, please?

PREVIEW:

"I had a state job for a long time! What are you doing working for state or county government? It sure isn't the paycheck! Health care? Now, you pay, and pay, and pay! Pension? They're taking your pension! Ever hear of the Teamsters Mid States Pension Fund? Same playbook, new crazy thieves! Who are these crooks? If I end up your president, we'll damn well find out!"

Nazis/Illuminatis, be sure all TV cameras are tossed into Lake Mendota. Newspapers? Closed, by order of the Prefect! Nah, only in California.