National I.D. One Act Play (cough-cough spy approved in real-time)

Gosh, Goo-gle, I'm gonna be president someday, and could not find my bloggy woggy. That's a big "Uh oh," especially when your corporate "confederate" was seen in my neighborhood Starbucks--laughing, of course.

INT. STARBUCKS - DAY

A big SPY RODENT sits at his Apple computer staring directly at the "target."

Five hours later.

The target produces a cell phone.

TARGET

(on phone)

Could you send a cop out here to Starbucks? Some creepy ass has been staring at me all day. I think he's gay.

Later, cops arrive.

COP #1

(to spy)

May I see your National Identity Card, please?

This has been interrupted by a 100% LEGAL RUN FOR PRESIDENT H-SHOUT--Could we PLEASE write a federal law where the probable cause threshhold is low to find out why ABDUL, LEE CHIN, PEDRO, and big, black, TYRONE have nothing better to do than stare at you or me? Thanks. I'll speak to Congressman Gag Order (not).

continued...

The cops look at the National I.D. Card and determine the spy is harmless.

COP #1

He's just sitting here. There's really no problem.

TARGET

Who is the guy?

COP #1

George A. Tirebuster

TARGET

That sounds like a fake name.

COP #2

It might be.

TARGET

Thanks, guys. I'll contact my attorney.

The Black & White cars drive away.

THE END  

So nice of Doug--Paris Hilton's boyfriend--to find me a few good-lookin' gals. F-you, too!