One For The Afghan National Police

Peter, my computer does not work right. Is this an old photo? That's Barack in the foreground? Looks like he's cupping a cig. Just don't "nigger lip" it, okay?


"Police are serving this nation. If I can still walk, I will go back to my duty."

- Abdul Jabar, as quoted in my 07.31.11 maybe "prished" copy of The Star 

INT. TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS

SOUND: Metallic CHIPPING.

Pick axes ECHO off rock. Flashlights illuminate dusty beams of light in a tall "prison break" style tunnel.

Confused SHOUTS are heard. A CREW cleans-up the tunnel.

TUNNELER

I thought it was next week.

A distant CHEER is heard.

TUNNELER (cont'd)

What is that?

Several light beams approach. A BEARDED MAN pushes a wheelbarrel full of gold bars.

WHEELBARREL MAN

Left over from General Zia, my brother.

TUNNELER

God is greater than my Hong Kong hedge fund trader!

They embrace amid LAUGHTER and echoing CHEERS.

FADE TO:

INT. ORNATE BANK VAULT - LATER

More ACCOMPLICES are steadily bagging currency.

TUNNELER

Why no updates? I thought you were weeks away. And, I thought you were dead.

OSAMA bin LADEN

As Mark Twain said, those reports were exaggerated greatly.

TUNNELER

One less Western bank?

Osama nods.

CUT TO:

EXT. ISLAMABAD STREET - DAY

Two POLICEMEN patrol with assault rifles slung.

POLICEMAN #1

Ready to act surprised?

POLICEMAN #2

Are you some kind of ISI agitator?

POLICEMAN #1

Agitation is no accomplishment.

The bank building EXPLODES, sending chunks of flaming automobiles near the policemen.

POLICEMAN #2

And that is?

POLICEMAN

Depends on your perspective.

CUT TO: